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POLL: Who’s Your Favorite Hottie Actress of the ’50s?
January 23, 2011 | 
Author 
Clockwise from top left: Lauren Bacall, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Natalie Wood, Sophia Loren, Ava Gardner
Poll time: Who’s Your Favorite Hottie Actress of the ’50s?
If you’re retirement age, you might have adored these talented (and magically delicious) actresses the first time around during Hollywood’s Golden Age (circa 1950s). Some of us younger folk have since grown to appreciate the grooviness of women who could be our grandmothers. I think I mentioned before that I’m a bit of a Natalie Portman fan (see exhibit A & exhibit B), but there’s just something swell about the classic elegance of these fine Hollywood hotties. A few of these actresses hit their heydays before the ‘50s, some just after, but they all did great work in the ‘50s. There were other excellent actresses from the period, but these are the 6 I like best (I’ve left out Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe because they’re overly popular and just not my favs). Please vote for your favorite and tell us why in the comments, then check back for the results (you can see the results of the Favorite Fictional Bachelor Poll and still vote!). Feel free to research their film catalogs and get back to us.
The secret word is classic.
Related Blogginess
Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?
Sound of Music Death Match!! Liesl v Maria
A Moment of Silence For Natalie Portman’s Singleness
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A Moment of Silence For Natalie Portman’s Singleness
Natalie Portman in "The Black Swan"
by Jonathan Bryan Perry
Well dudes, by now you’ve heard the sad news that Natalie Portman is engaged & ‘with child’, as they say. This effectively takes her off the market (though certainly she’s in a different market from, you know, us). So, let’s have a moment of silence for Natalie Portman’s singleness. <pause for silence> Good. Thanks. Obviously, she’s not dead, but the love song I wrote for her, “Natalie Portman is Hot”, is now moot (yes, Myrtle & Blanche, I wrote love songs for other women. And I totally rhymed hot with Huguenot.). It doesn’t matter that I sang all 8 parts of the harmony way better than The Bee Gees or The King’s Singers ever could and I didn’t even have to undergo drastic countertenor/falsetto ‘enhancement’ surgeries. Mostly.
Anyway Natalie, I just want to take a minute to remember ‘us’ and the special times we spent together over the years: You acting all royal in Star Wars prequels. Me watching alone in the dark in my Han Solo duds (ok, a Wookiee costume). You listening to The Shins with Zach Braff in Garden State. Me jealously wanting to lend you some slightly better Indie-ish music I was listening to at the time. Me watching you rap awesomely on that SNL sketch. Me Googling photos of you. For my blog. Really.
more extreme make-up. Nat in Star Wars
Yes guys, Natalie Portman’s all gone. It was coming, though. We all saw it. After she went off to that fancy university with the rich boys, you know, to emphasize her smarts with her hots, there was a poignant stripper pole scene somewhere (This is off point. Or is it?). Now, of course, it ends with one of her co-stars. The collective mourning probably started back when she shaved her head in V for Vendetta (and for the super-lame ending of the movie. WTH?), but we at least knew her hair would grow back. Also, she does have a nice skull. Yes, there were signs. We’ll take some solace knowing she spent some ‘special’ time with Mila Kunis in The Black Swan. This will help. Truly.
Now, being engaged does not make one married, but when there’s a baby involved, you don’t mess with it, cuz, well, you know… So, with much sadness, I’ll man up and wish her all the happiness in the world. Maybe dress in a black Sith outfit for a few days before I start Googling pics of the secretarial pool from Mad Men. For my blog, of course.
Natalie, may the force be with you. Also, I think Jonathan is a great name for a baby.
The secret word is mourning
Related Blogginess
Intimidated by Smart Girls? (featuring Natalie Portman)
Take the pseudo-Cosmo quiz to find out your type ->
http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/2009/02/27/which-is-your-type-a-pseudo-cosmo-quiz/
Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
Sound of Music DEATH MATCH!!! Liesl v Maria
Other Swellness
Every time you click an ad, an angel gets its wings. Also, I get like 12 cents.
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Nice Guys Finish Last: Why Women are Attracted to Bad Boys
{This is the 2nd in our series, Inside the Female Mind}
(Our guest blogger is Louise Baker. Louise is a freelance writer whose articles have been featured by MSN, Publisher’s Weekly, About.com and the Consumerist. She writes for ZenCollegeLife.com.)
Unfortunately for the sweet do-right guys out there, it seems that the undeserving bad boy typically gets the girl. Bad boys are rude, inattentive, unfaithful, cheap and an all-around burden for women, but women generally eat up their bad boy demeanor. Personally, I’ve been there and I’ve done that. So, I’m here to tell men just why the bad boy essence is so alluring to the ladies.
It’s all About the Chase
While I may not be riding on the back of a Harley Davidson or posting bail for my bad boy, the union is still rather exciting. He makes me chase him, work for his affection and wonder whether or not my efforts are making him swoon. Approximately 80% of the time the adventure is torturous to my emotions. But, the remaining 20% is filled with an exciting chase which makes all of my senses, emotions and beliefs defy everything I’ve ever known. To most girls, this rush is worth the trouble.
He’s Arm Candy
Let’s face it – looks do matter, and it just so happens that most bad boys tend to make rather scrumptious arm candy. The tailored-to-the-tee style, the nonchalant attitude and the natural good looks are enough to make most girls do a double take. And, if I’m strolling down the street, mall, restaurant or casino with a hunk of a man, it boosts my own ego. It may sound like trying to get a date with the Quarterback in High School, but girls are still competitive and thrive on social standings. My arm candy boosts my social status all the more.
It’s a Project
As a woman, I’m a natural born nurturer. I want to feel needed. I want my input to make a difference in someone’s behavior. And I want to be able to take a sick animal (in this case, my bad boyfriend), and turn him into a thriving, picture-perfect being (in this case, the perfect man). If the man is already close to perfection, as the sweet do-gooders already are, there’s nothing for me to do. There’s less gratification in being with a man that already meets my standards than there is when I have the possibility to turn my bad boy into my perfect Stepford husband.
I can try to change his attitudes, his habits, his living arrangements, his style and his mannerisms. Yes, it sounds neurotic. But, I’m a fixer. And, this is a project which has my name written all over it. Of course, most women do outgrow this stage. But this transition typically only occurs after wasting valuable time on the wrong bad-natured boys.
In hindsight, dating a bad boy is a way for women to feel young, cool, needed and interested. Bad boys cause so much havoc that it’s nearly impossible to get bored, and they let women relive our crazy youth in heart-stopping style.
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(Stay tuned for a rebuttal in defense of nice guys!)
Louise Baker writes about online degrees for Zen College Life. She has also recently written about the best schools online.
Related Posts:
Top 5 Reasons Women Choose to Stay Single (1st in the series: Inside the Female Mind)
The Jaded Sage and What Women Want
Bachelor Secrets Part 1: Why Are They Single?
Bachelor Secrets Part 2: Dating Habits
My Bucket List: 100 Things To Do Before I Die
Changing Your Relationship Status on a Social-Networking Site
Couples Vs Singles: Socialization
Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!
Top 5 Reasons Women Choose to Stay Single
{This is the 1st in our series, Inside the Female Mind}
(Our guest blogger is Louise Baker. Louise is a freelance writer whose articles have been featured by MSN, Publisher’s Weekly, About.com and the Consumerist. She writes for ZenCollegeLife.com.)
Reason Number Five: Religious
Incompatible religious beliefs are a big deal breaker even for new romances, and usually cause a stall in the relationship even where the couple is able to enjoy each other’s company in social settings. While tolerance is the watch word nowadays, many women feel their personal religious sentiments (or lack thereof) are ties to emotional wellbeing, and find that a mutual agreement in this area is a must for an intimate relationship. Not having that connection keeps a girl going solo.
Reason Number Four: Financial
In these tumultuous financial times, it’s tough enough to pay your own bills, and some women aren’t willing to require financial statements before making an emotional commitment. Being wary about the man in the equation and his math aptitude, rather than getting some ugly financial news (i.e. poor credit score, no savings, past due car payments) after the relationship has grown, Frugal Felicia turns down the applicant and stays single rather than spending years in a relationship paying down someone else’s past due child support.
Reason Number Three: Personal Goals
It’s much easier to keep your eye on the goal when it’s not being distracted by a glint in someone else’s. The need to pursue a college degree or the “perfect” career choice can be too demanding to find time to spend with someone else. Many women know that goals can be fleeting and feel that the prize belongs to the youngest prettiest, contestant. With those golden years passing by quickly, staying single to meet personal goals can be the quick ticket to get where you want to go without extra baggage.
Reason Number Two: High Expectations
Sometimes it’s expectations that have women choosing to stay single. After sitting down and making “must have”, “would like to have” and “can do without” lists, a lot of women find that no one guy can fit their high expectations. But who can blame them? After waiting for Prince Charming all their life and knowing they deserve only the best, staying single can be so much more attractive than settling for second best.
Top Reason Number One: Self Satisfaction
Being content with her own life (being gratified with her work, her art, her family and friends) is the number one reason why women choose to stay single. Not having to deal with someone else’s annoying habits, or being criticized for your own, can really bring peace to any mind. Not answering to anyone else, and being so comfortable in the single woman’s place in this world, is a really fabulous way to keep putting yourself first and foremost at all times.
Louise Baker is a freelance blogger and journalist who writes for Zen College Life, the directory of higher education, distance learning, and online schools. She most recently wrote about the top online accredited colleges.
Related Reading:
Nice Guys Finish Last: Why Women Women are Attracted to Bad Boys (2nd in the series)
Bachelor Secrets Part 1: Why Are They Single?
Bachelor Secrets Part 2: Dating Habits
My Bucket List: 100 Things To Do Before I Die
Changing Your Relationship Status on a Social-Networking Site
Couples Vs Singles: Socialization
Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!
Related Blogs
Posted in couples, dating, guest blog, inside the female mind, single, types of women | 
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Intimidated By Smart Girls?
by Jonathan Birddog Perry
Intimidated by smart girls? Yes. Yes I am (a little). But I’m intimidated by lots of women, so it’s not a different thing.
Smart girls are those studious bookworm types who often fly under the radar. Sometimes they’re so engrossed in their reading or the studying of Physics or Socrates or Russian Lit or Adam Smith‘s take on Economics that they often go unnoticed by guys and may not notice guys stalking them in the library. This makes them a great undiscovered and untapped resource. Finding a new hot smart girl is like finding a gold nugget in a creek. They’re both shiny and heavy (I mean pretty and smart. And rare. Ok, it’s a flawed simile.). These distracted smart hot girls are not unlike those newly minted beauties who’ve just blossomed into hotness or who have recently lost 30 pounds and aren’t aware how attractive they are, at least early on. If you can catch one before she develops that sense of self, realizing the evil power she wields over men, do it, because she will discover her powers and use them and you might not make the cut.
I spent 20min collecting pics of Natalie Portman for this post
In college, there was one sciency nerdyish girl, a friend of a friend, who happened to be moderately good-looking, and complained loudly that guys didn’t ask her out because she was so smart. I remember thinking that it was just possible they didn’t date her because she whined and was so annoyingly full of herself. And that’s the weakness of the smart girl: when she knows she’s smart and lets everyone else know, she becomes super-annoying. And intimidating (of course this all applies to dudes as well, but we’re not talking about guys, are we?).
I’m not suggesting dating dumb girls, though they need love, too. Boy, do they ever. There were some girls in college I’d have dated more if I’d been more convinced of normal brain function. I hope to end up with a smart girl, someone who’s a treat to talk to and who can gently correct my wayward grammar (on those ever-so-rare occasions) or indulge my constant questions about cultures or philosophical issues with thoughtfulness, charm, and accuracy without being smarmy. I actually do decently in the brains department (he said with all false modesty, while secretly hoping someone discovered his high IQ) and I don’t want to feel like I’m talking to a brick wall. If, by some chance, the smart girl and I procreated, besides breeding genius asthmatic musical children with low self-esteem and ADD who are beaten up in school (the good stuff would come from her), she could help raise our kids to be smart monkeys who create atom-splitting science fair projects on demand, which is all anyone could ask for. Of course she’d help keep me on my toes, nurturing me to be that wise goat-baboon hybrid I always knew I could be (I‘m not really insulting my parents).
Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai
In earlier posts I wrote about different types of women, specifically about how I have a special place in my heart for women who are like the girl next door and who are elegant, especially those who crossover into each type. I found some outstanding celebrity examples of these women who I think are especially swell. That may be why I waited to write about smart girls. I love smart girls, but I honestly can’t think of many celeb examples that I really dig. There are a few financial-journalist types who seem smart, ABC’s Bianna Golorodryga and CNBC’s ‘money honey‘ Maria Bartiromo, but I haven’t fully inspected their brains. I’ll do that now. Yep, they’re smart. There are many beautiful celebrities who have attended Ivy League schools and other top universities, but we consider these people to be automatically suspect. At least I do. Would these women have really gotten into such prestigious schools had they not been famous? Or hot? Maybe, maybe not. Here are my favorites and the schools they attended: Natalie Portman (Harvard), Kate Beckinsale (Oxford), Clair Danes (Yale), Elisabeth Shue (Wellesley College & Harvard), Jennifer Connelly (Yale & Stanford), and Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai (U of Mombai). All beautiful and well-educated celebrity women, though I think Natalie Portman is the only one to hit the trifecta, making all three of my celeb-crush lists. She’s pretty nifty.
The key point here is to not overlook smart women, however intimidating they might be, especially the hot smart women who aren’t yet aware how awesome they are. They can be really interesting, make good company on long roadtrips, and will still be smart and interesting long after the crow’s feet start walking all over them.
(Now I’m a little paranoid a smart girl is going to proofread this and give me a low score. Dangit.)
The secret word is intimidation.
Take the pseudo-Cosmo quiz to find out your type -> http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/2009/02/27/which-is-your-type-a-pseudo-cosmo-quiz/
Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
A Moment of Silence For Natalie Portman’s Singleness
Sound of Music DEATH MATCH!!! Liesl v Maria
Every time you click an ad, an angel gets its wings.
Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor for free through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!
The Secrets Of Robot Women!
Fembots and Austin Powers
by Jonathan Barometer Perry
I was going to post a video as a bit of filler while my brain recovered from holidayland. It was totally going to be a relevant thing about communication between sexes or understanding women. Blah blah. Something entertaining and moderately edifying. Possibly mind-blowing. Secrets of the universe stuff.
But no. There may be a few logical guiding principles that assist in such inter-sexual communications (is intersexual a word? It should be.), but I’m a little cynical when it comes to magic beans and secrets of women. Let’s say pragmatic. Each person is not a robot with an operating manual. We’re complex and unique creatures with our own highly puzzling and annoying workings, incomprehensible to most but a trained army of shrinks. Women perhaps moreso. Darn luck.
As it is, people seek out this information (I did some this evening. I wouldn’t mind knowing.) and industries have arisen to meet these needs. Books, lectures, videos, blogs. I’m sure some of them are useful. Maybe a little. Specialists range from psychiatrists, sociologists, and smartgirls, to manwhores. I saw several videos and promptly forgot most of the babble. It was largely irrelevant to me anyway (or was it?). If you take really good notes and pay close attention and try a lot I’m sure something will take.
Oh well. I’ll still post some tacky videos in the future. I’m sure of it. Someone may get use from it. Or maybe just amusement. Meanwhile, I’ll be cynical and realistic. Oh, and largely ineffective.
Read Me, Seymour!
Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site
Which is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?
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Brigitte Dale And Nice Guys
Girl Next Door archetype and exiled Nebraskan, Brigitte Dale, is a great video blogger I’ve been following for a few years (Doesn’t hurt that she’s super good lookin’. She’s on my Girl Next Door crush list.). In her latest video she has some strong words for nice guys and actually gets riled up a bit, which is hilarious (She also uses the word ‘gumption’!). Her concern is that nice guys retain their own opinions and not feel obligated to cave into the girlfriends’ beliefs and ideas just to make nice, which is only mildly insane. Below is her YouTube video, but you can also see her new videos here.
Brigitte Dale Links:
My Quasi-Related Links:
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
Celebrity Crushes: Elegant Women
Changing Your Relationship Status (On A Social-Networking Site)
Couples v Singles: Socialization
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‘SOUND OF MUSIC’ DEATH MATCH!!!
LIESL v MARIA
Liesl, played by Charmian Carr
Just to be awkward, I’ll mention that I really used to have a thing for that Liesl character from The Sound of Music. She was pretty smokin’ for being 16 going on 17 and on the cusp of womanhood. Secret gazebo rendezvous(es?) are excellent, especially if it’s raining.
The Sound of Music was the sort of thing we watched a lot growing up in my musical family, so I grew to appreciate the flirtiness and the innocence coupled with sexy slyness smack in the middle of this wholesome feast of classic cinema. I’m not sure how old Charmian Carr was when she played the role (she had to have been in her 20s), but she acted an impressive part and early on became the gold standard for girly hotness to me and many young men (and certainly plenty of dirty old men).
Julie Andrews as Maria
In my article about Elegant Women, I included Julie Andrews whose proper Britishness almost automatically qualifies her for queen of the category. Between SoM & Mary Poppins, Julie Andrews seems like the strict disciplinarian that we all desperately need to help make that nasty medicine go down until we’ve learned our lessons and promise to be very good boys, unless she really wants to punish us again.
She wasn’t all discipline, though. We mustn’t forget the light and airy image of her twirling around on top of that Austrian mountain, being the spazzy nun we want to throttle. She had some serious personal sorting out to do at the beginning of the movie before leading Rodgers and Hammerstein sing-alongs, giving puppet shows, then getting kind of sexy, flirting and dancing with the Christopher Plummer who played the Captain. Of course, near the end she wins the Captain from the Baroness, suddenly becoming mother to 7 bratty Austrian kids and it’s all downhill into frumpery from there (If you really want to get into it, the Baroness had a little sumthin’ sumthin’ goin’ on herself, but Maria and Leisl were the star babes.).
Pre-girlfight!
Whenever I see that part of the movie near the end where Maria and the Captain have just come back from their honeymoon and Maria is having a mother/daughter talk with Liesl about how handsome Rolf looks in his Nazi uniform, I always get the impression that Julie Andrews is at great pains suddenly being the unsexed matron.
Apparently, the actual age gap between Julie Andrews and Charmian Carr was pretty slim. When the movie came out in March 1965 Andrews was 29 and Carr was 22 (I just Googled it and am absolved of my jailbait attraction to Liesl. Yay!). That’s just 7 years difference!
It’s at this point of the movie where Liesl says something like “I love calling you mother” and Maria grunts approximately “I enjoy hearing it”. If you look carefully at Julie Andrews it would seem she stiffens a little here and isn’t really into the idea of being the mother figure of the two because she’s not much older and this pushes her out of hot babe contention. It’s unlikely there were any wrestling matches between the two on the set, but you never know. Perhaps the crew had to keep them apart (this is how rumors are started).
No, for the last chunk of the movie, Maria’s function is shifted to that of mother and whip-organizer for the escape. The romance is all behind her. The only thing left is trudging through the Alps dragging Gretl on a leash. All the while, Liesl is thinking up wicked ways to work up the French boys waiting down on the other side of the hill. Yodelayhehoo!
Here’s a song I wrote vaguely about Liesl. It’s a bad recording:
Waiting For The Day (or How Liesl Escaped the Nazis and Got Freaky)
Coming soon..the final instalment in the 11 Steps to Becoming A Domesticated Bachelor. Did you notice how I only used one ‘l’ in installment…I mean, instalment? I like to ‘colour’ my writing with weird Brit spellings sometimes.
The secret compound word is deathmatch.
Related Reading:
Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz
My 11 Favorite CHRISTMAS Albums
30 Favorite Songs of 2009 (1-15)
Logan’s Run and Population Control
Domesticated Bachelor Step #6: Be A Jack-Of-All-Trades
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11 Steps To Becoming A Domesticated Bachelor: #6. Be A Jack Of All Trades
by Jonathan B. Perry
An important part of becoming a Domesticated Bachelor is being a Jack of All Trades. Being a Jack of All Trades isn’t quite the same as being a know it all. Or a jackass, though they can, and often do, overlap. It means being able to function moderately in most broad areas of knowledge. It’s being well rounded, knowing a fair amount about Russian literature, Biblical carpentry, snake oil sales, and Congolese kayak repair, but not being enough of an expert to really excel or do much with that knowledge.
Being a Jack of All Trades still comes in handy because you’d know a little about most subjects and would be able to converse superficially about Congolese politics with your Congolese cleaning-lady before your cultured dinner party starts (she’s the exiled Congolese president‘s estranged goddaughter who’s cleaning your kitchen drain boards) or you could avoid major embarrassment if in a situation that requires minor skills, like changing a golf cart tire near the twelfth hole or planting a row of miniature fruit trees or naming your polo team after a Nabakov novel (the Hammered Lolitas!). You can become a Jack of All Trades by dipping your toe a little in each subject. This is best done by reading the first ten pages or so of several books. Also, you could spend 6 or 7 years in college taking, or at least starting, many courses, perhaps changing your major several times along the way. If you need real help doing any of this stuff in an actual skillful way you can always look up instructions online or buy one of those Dummies/Idiots books. I suspect you might need several.
Best of all, being the Jack of All Trades Dude that you are, you might make a decent Jeopardy! contestant because, even though your knowledge might not be very deep, it’s grown very broad. Broad knowledge is key to excelling in multiple Jeopardy! categories and since there are 13 of them in each game you‘re well on your way. Being on Jeopardy! is a major signifier of intelligence and will help cement your Bachelor Domestication, potentially acting as an aphrodisiac to at least a few disturbed women, especially the cute librarian types best depicted by Shirley Jones in The Music Man. Then you might get to meet Alex Trebek, who’s grown back his mustache, and talk to him about the role of Congolese political art in Russian Orthodox literature while changing a golf shopping cart tire in the middle of your golf-course-dwarf-pomegranate-orchard-cemetery game, where the motto’s always been ‘Play through or die!’ Don’t be too long because the Hammered Lolitas play next.
Read the first 5 steps:
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40,000 LADY-MAN-LADIES!!
I’m not accusing you readers of being transgender. I’d never do that. Not publicly. Actually, last night, on the 28th day of this domesticated blog, we reached our 40,000th hit! 40,000 hits in just 4 weeks is unreal and completed unexpected and only moderately weird, like those cross-dressing pics recently added to my computer (for blog purposes only), but I’m glad you’re visiting and reading and coming back. Some of the recent posts have been devoted to crushworthy types of women (if you haven’t read them, the links are below or on the right) and to continue this theme, and celebrate the 40k madness, I present Flight of the Conchords in “Ladies of the World“! Thanks for reading!
Which is your type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?
Thanks to alphainventions.com for the frequent promotion!
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Which is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz
by Jonathan B. Perry
Earlier we talked about types of crushworthy women, specifically the Elegant type and the Girl Next Door (GND) type (later I mention how Smart Girls are intimidating). While these two types seem to be my favorites, there are several other types that have great qualities and should be given serious consideration.
What kind of girl are you? (I don't know these people)
Funny- The funny girl always seems to know how to inject hilarity into the mundane. She’s almost a comedienne without a gig, amusing her friends instead.
Quirky- The quirky girl is much like the funny girl, though perhaps less definable as funny or less aware that she is. She’s a little strange in an interesting way, maybe a touch nerdy and unselfconscious. She may have odd habits or hobbies.
Smart- The smart girl has a high IQ and is a good person to ask if you want to know certain data. She may correct your grammar from time to time. She also may have a few graduate degrees.
Sporty- The Sporty girl is of course athletic, playing in city leagues or with friends, often taking mountain climbing expeditions or hiking trips. Her body is often in peak physical condition which is good for everyone (except maybe the other girls).
Sexpot- The sexpot is overtly sexy, being fully aware of her physical hotness and manifesting it through obvious flirtiness, whether in actions or dress. The Sexpot often walks the line with being slutty.
Bad Girl- The Bad Girl will often take up that slutty mantle, but may be bad in more criminal and dangerous sorts of ways. She often gets a rush by doing illegal things like shoplifting, or doing bad things like sleeping with her best friend’s boyfriend.
Girl Next Door- The GND is easy to talk to, normal and approachable, kind of innocent, but may also be hot and not really know it. She seems like someone who might be tricked into dating a regular guy.
Elegant- The Elegant woman maintains a certain charming dignity about her. This is exhibited not only by her fine dress, but through the grace, class, and decorum maintained in everyday activities.
The pseudo-Cosmo quiz below, which is super-non-scientific, has been designed to help you find out what type of woman you like (if you’re male) or what type of woman you are (If you’re female. Or, if you’re a guy, you can take the quiz from the perspective of which type of woman you are or would be. See how versatile this is?). Score your response to each question on a scale of 1 to 5 (with 1 being what you dislike and 5 being what you most like), then add up the total for each type. The closer you get to 20 points in one type, the more you like that type (or are that type). See the scoring key below. I’m sure other types have been left out, but this isn’t scientific and I’m not uber masochistic. Thanks to Melinda’s good-looking friend Emily for the great suggestion. I’ll never do this again.
1. She craves and seeks adoration for her body.
2. She often amuses her friends in regular conversation.
3. She likes to dress well at all times.
4. She might have a collection of pretty rocks.
5. She’s likely to be in a book club.
6. She likes to mountain climb.
7. She spray paints graffiti on the overpass.
8. She might be considered a pal/friend to a guy.
9. She often dresses revealingly.
10. She might engage in practical jokes.
11. She’s seen to be particularly classy.
12. She plays the xylophone in a rock band.
13. She’s good at giving advice.
14. She works out at the gym regularly.
15. She gets a rush from shoplifting lipstick.
16. She has an innocent manner about her.
17. She sleeps with a lot of guys.
18. She rarely gives a serious answer.
19. She gives charming dinner parties.
20. She names her pet turtles after classic movie stars.
21. She speaks philosophically about mundane things.
22. She’s often invited to play sand volleyball.
23. She slept with her best friend’s boyfriend.
24. The neighbor boy saw her as a good friend for years before really liking her.
25. She flashes her breasts at Mardi Gras or just whenever.
26. She has a secret ambition to be a comedian.
27. She embodies the upper class.
28. She makes Star Wars models.
29. She may have advanced educational degrees.
30. She catches most games on tv when she doesn’t go to them in person.
31. She enjoys breaking rules and laws.
32. She’s often seen as the perfect girl to take home to the folks.
Scoring Key: Sexpot-#s 1,9,17,25; Funny-#s 2,10,18,26; Elegant-#s 3,11,19, 27; Quirky-#s 4,12,20,28; Smart-#s 5,13,21,29; Sporty-#s 6,14,22,30; Bad-#s 7,15,23,31; Girl Next Door-#s 8,16,24,32
How did you score? Which is your type? Quit asking what I look like in drag.
The secret word is tranny.
Related Reading:
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?
Sound Of Music Death Match!! Liesl v Maria
Family Advice: A Reversal (S0rt Of)
Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site
Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!
CELEBRITY CRUSHES: IS ELEGANCE ELITIST?
by Jonathan B. Perry
Last time we talked about crushworthy celebrity women, particularly those who are like the Girl Next Door (GND). Now, on the Elegant side of things are those women who maintain a certain charming dignity about them, not only signified by their fine dress, but largely for the grace, class, and decorum maintained while changing a flat tire or a loaded diaper. They may also be any Jane Austen character ever. I’ve noticed two peculiarities about the Elegant celebrity women I have crushes on: 1st, that I haven’t placed very many into this category, and 2nd, they reached the peaks of their popularities in distant eras before you could put a computer on your lap or a phone in your pocket.
Some of my favorite elegant women include Mary Tyler Moore (Especially on The Dick Van Dyke Show. Yum.), Grace Kelly, Julie Andrews, Lauren Bacall (photo right), and Natalie Wood (who split time as a Girl Next Door). Between them, they did the bulk of their best work in the 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s when I was either not alive or super young. My perceptions of them as elegant may be incomplete because most had other types into which they could fit, like Mary Tyler Moore might also moonlight as a Funny Girl Next Door who was later stuck wearing bad 70s clothes, unfortunately.
It could be that Hollywood was more elegant in the old days and therefore the characters were often more elegant and traditional. Having said that, Hollywood may now be placing an emphasis on the Girl Next Door type, fully aware of the homespun attractiveness. With Elegant women, it seems their qualities are timeless and I still really like them. Of course, most actresses, on the surface, seem elegant when it comes time for an award show like the Oscars. But the fact that there are many fewer contemporary examples of Elegant women begs the question: Is Elegant a dying breed? Is it just a dress to be put on for the red carpet or the correct placement of a salad fork? Is elegance elitist or just old fashioned? Is Hollywood forcing them out as part of an invisible French Revolution?
I recently read the James Herriot All Creatures Great and Small books about veterinarians in Yorkshire, England in the 1930s. The books were excellent. My friend Wendy then told me about the BBC series from the 1970s and I checked it out at the library. This was also quite good and I developed a great fondness for the main actress, Carol Drinkwater, who played Helen Herriot. You might say I’m smitten.
Doesn't Carol Drinkwater look a little like Evangeline Lilly? or vice versa?
She‘s fantastic and seems to blend all the good stuff together: Girl Next Door who is Elegant and a little Funny. Anyway, to top it off, I recently learned she played a small part in Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange, a non-Elegant, non-Girl Next Door movie. I remember some weird/freaky stuff from A Clockwork Orange, and of course now I’ll have to rewatch it with this new and interesting revelation (I certainly won‘t say anything about Julie Andrews‘ topless scene in the ‘80s. That would just confuse things.).
So, yeah. Elegant, good. Girl Next Door, good. Smart, Funny, Quirky. Good.
ADDENDUM: I just remembered I really like Anne Hathaway, too. Magically delicious. She’s Elegant and maybe a little Girl Next Door-esque. So there is a modern one. Yay!
Related Reading:
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
Sound Of Music Death Match!! Liesl v Maria
Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz
Family Advice: A Reversal (S0rt Of)
Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site
Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!
Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door
by Jonathan B. Perry
I’m not one of those guys who is big on the celebrity crushes, but sometimes it will occur to me that this actress is striking in a special way or that actress/singer/model/heiress has something I find extra swell. After carefully evaluating my favorite female celebrities with colorful graphs and misguided psycho-analysis, I’ve found I have a preference for those who generally fall into two categories: the Girl Next Door and Elegant.
The Girl Next Door (GND) type and the Elegant type are two fairly common types for a crush, but other types of women for whom one might crush include Sexpot, Bad Girl, Funny, Quirky, Smart, and Sporty. This female grouping thing is basically a Spice Girl game (or female 7 Dwarfs for my Disney-cum-World of Warcraft friends) wherein each girl represents a different personality generalization. Women in these other types may be excellent, but don’t resonate as much with me (Funny and Quirky do, but less on a celebrity level), possibly because I’m most drawn to women with whom I could see myself, and for me those women are mostly elegant or like the girl next door.
The Girl Next Door (GND) is easy to talk to. The two of you could spend a fun Sunday in the park together feeding ducks (to pigeons) and throwing around the frisbee or you might enjoy taking a nice stroll downtown to window shop, especially if you’re impoverished. Having grown up with the GND you feel very comfortable with her, but above all, she’s someone who’s human and pretty hot at the same time. Also, the girl next door seems like someone who might be tricked into dating you. This is perhaps the main thing. For those of us who like this type of girl, a good arch-type is Jenna Fischer‘s character, Pam Beasley on The Office. She’s good-looking, but doesn’t really know it and is maybe a little shy, but friendly and very approachable.
Evangeline Lilly’s character Kate on LOST used to have this GND type nailed, being all cute and innocent and freckly, but as the show has progressed, her character has been revealed to be a wily criminal, so flawed, in fact, that it moves her into the Bad Girl category and out of the center of my broken heart (country song to follow). Other good GND types include Gretchen Mol from Life On Mars (US), French actress Audrey Tautou who starred in Amelie, the late Natalie Wood (who splits time with Elegant), Anna Friel who played Chuck in Pushing Daisies, and, of course, Natalie Portman. Of course.
My uncle John and I were recently expressing our great appreciation for the super-excellent Samantha Brown who has shows on the Travel Channel. She embodies the Funny category and still works the GND (ooh, combo-types are extra special). Giada De Laurentiis, with shows on the Food Network, actually looks a little like Natalie Portman. She’s great and wouldn’t mind you eating garlic around her. It seems evident from this list that I watch a bit too much television and should be loaded with celebriphile shame. But where else would I go? Politics?
In reality, the closest I come to having a crush on a real girl next door, at the moment anyway, is the blogger Brigitte Dale who, until recently, lived in the same Midwest town in which I live.
Brigitte Dale
I haven’t actually met her, but I think she’s swell. Her video blogs are adorable and she has a smart and quirky writing style which I think is very endearing and funny. Brigitte seems to fit the GND category well by coming across as an approachable hometown girl who’s really darn pretty. Of course, she is a writer, so it is possible she could be a devious bunny shaver by night.
Next time we’ll look at the Elegant Women. As if we had a shot.
(Oh, we’ve had 30,000 hits now! In less than 3weeks!! Thank you. So much love.)
The secret word is trickery.
(Part 2-Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?)
(Part 3-Intimidated By Smart Girls?)
(Part 4-Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz)
Sound Of Music Death Match!! Liesl v Maria
Related Reading:
Family Advice: A Reversal (S0rt Of)
Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site
Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!
