Get Adobe Flash player
WHAT’S Happening?

Danger: if you meet it promptly & without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!- Winston Churchill

* Here There Be Goats->>
********************************
* Over 225k PAGEVIEWS!

* Follow Us On Facebook!

Follow BachelorGoat on Twitter

Follow BachelorGoat on Twitter

Polls

When Does Middle Age Begin?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

garden

Autumn’s Bottom or That’s All, Fall

Vermont Autumn

There’s a small chance of snow tonight here in Huskerland, and I only have some of the yard work done.  Treefuls of leaves have been bagged, but more leaves have offered themselves sacrificially for collection (thanks, leaves).  I’ve only cleaned half the gutters because I need a taller ladder for the front of the house and I don’t really want to climb the roof.  Chicken and lazy.  It wouldn’t be much snow, but it’s all downhill from here, baby.  So, before winter gets its freak on, instead of actually finishing yard work, I thought I’d pay special tribute to the awesomest season I know, autumn. CONTINUE READING >>>

http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/digg_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/reddit_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/dzone_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/stumbleupon_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/delicious_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blinklist_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blogmarks_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/furl_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/technorati_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/google_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/myspace_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/facebook_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/yahoobuzz_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/twitter_48.png

17 Types of Bachelor Pads

by Jonathan Bonobo Perry

ABC has a new cheesetastic reality tv show called The Bachelor Pad which seems like it might combine The Bachelor with Big Brother and The Real World after they’ve soaked in a briny vat of The Girls Next Door.  It promises an abnormally good-looking and freakishly healthy cast of cast-offs from previous reality shows being overly-dramatic and dramatically-amorous in a fine and expensive model home.  Pray, what will this bachelor pad be like?  Certainly it has everything.  Entertainment, games, and watery places, perhaps 7 hot tubs (so a few could be decontaminated simultaneously).  This got me thinking about types of Bachelor Pads as theme parks for men or rather types of homes for types of bachelors. What if guys were only one-dimensional and could each be pigeonholed into one tidy category?  Here’s who 17 of those guys would be and how their bachelor pads would be set up to reflect the weirdness.

1 Lothario/Lech Pad-Round spinning bed, cocktail bar, fancy lighting, a fine collection of loungy mood music.  It would be like the digs for Quagmire from Family Guy or for Austin Powers, replete with bathrobes and smoking jackets and lots of velvet.  A hot tub.  This is usually the first picture that comes to mind when one thinks of the classic bachelor pad.  It’s a lie.  Mostly.

2 Gamer Pad-Comfy chair for all that sitting.  Probably plush.  A couple gaming systems (XBox, Nintendo, Playstation, Wii) backed up by a quality entertainment system.  Dice and game parts for various role playing games.  Occupant-pasty sleepy nerd. 

3 Partier Pad-A sufficient supply of food and beverages and, if lucky, easily cleaned surfaces.  Large tv and other entertainment devices:  good stereo, lots of music, the gamer’s gaming system, some board games and backyard games.  Possibly a jacuzzi and a grill in the awesome backyard.  There might be a firepit.  Tiki torches?

4 Handyman Pad-Handmade furniture or carvings.  An extensive collection of tools and parts.  A fine workbench in the garage.  Powerdrill always plugged into the wall.  Multiple projects at different stages of completion spread about the garage and house.  Possibly a classic car parked in the garage being restored.

5 Traveler Pad-Travel books, posters, and paintings.  Souvenirs and maps.  Photo albums of trips.  Several suitcases, bags & perhaps an enormous travel cases like Jimmy Stewart‘s from It’s A Wonderful Life.

6 Collector Pad-The house may be overrun and/or decorated by strange collections:  stamps, baseball cards, license plates, Coca-Cola memorabilia.  Butterflies.  Places to store and display all this stuff have been set aside. The Antique-r is a sub-specialist of collector. Or is it the other way around?

7 Gadget Dude Pad-Assorted collection of the latest and greatest gadgets both electronic and mechanical.  Not only does he have the latest ostentatious Apple product (iPhone, iPad, iTouch), he also has camcorders, ereaders, robots, roombas, gps’s.

8 Reader Pad-Several bookcases, maybe some built-ins for a large a well-organized library (possibly numbered books, as if it were a real library).  There might be a list of books lent out and who has them and why you’ll never get them back.  (Chris?  Marshall?).  If he’s gone gadgety, there might be an Amazon Kindle or a similar ereader.

9 Sports Fan Pad-There will be lots of sports memorabilia, some of it plastered to the walls.  Maybe jerseys of the home team.  There could be game highlight footage on DVD.  There might even be sports cards, but certainly sports magazines.

10 Movie and TV-Buff Pad-Huge TV entertainment system with surround sound.  Lots of DVDs.  Lots of VHS tapes with the player.  Possibly a Beta player and Beta tapes for some rare ancient weirdness.

11 Musician Pad-Instruments.  The pinnacle is a grand piano or a specialty guitar signed by some dead rock legend.  Recording equipment.  A fine hi-fi system that spans the years from phonograph to 8-track to cassette to cd to mp3 player.  There will be plenty of albums to play on this system.  There might be busts of musicians and sheets of music.  Perhaps rooms have been modified to adjust acoustics.

12 Fitness Enthusiast Pad-In this pad might be found a bicycle and helmet.  If he’s a daredevil he might have mountain-climbing equipment, otherwise regular (and strange) exercise devices: dumb bells, stationary bike, treadmill, elliptical, medicine ball.  He might have his own awards from previous sporty endeavors.

13 Animal Lover Pad-Aquariums, terrariums, cages and kennels.  Leashes and bowls on the floor.  Adorable creatures that want to eat and bite you and need to use the facilities which may or may not be in your house.  Animal hair everywhere.  Unsolved allergy issues.  Hello Kitty stationery?  Maybe that’s just a sub-genre.

14 Hoarder Pad-this comes from mixing too many of the other categories together and having certain psychological issues.

15 Artist/Photographer Pad-Paints and brushes.  Easels and canvas and frames.  Cameras and camera equipment.  Maybe a dark room for old film.  Some of his own work might be framed on the wall as well as his inspirations’ works.  Art supplies and works are spread all over the house.

16 Gardener/Plant Guy Pad-Much of this guy’s stuff would be in the backyard: Veggie garden, flowers, other odd plants.  Sometimes the greenery will come inside and there will be pots of living greenstuff (non-mold) around the house.  There might be books and magazines for gardening ideas and tips.

17 Chef/Cook Pad-This dude has a kitchen full of quality cooking equipment.  Pots and pans and skillets or whatever.  There will be odd measuring devices which might use the metric system or stuff like pinch or smidgen.  He’ll have lots of spices and fancy oils.  The cupboards and fridge are stocked with all kinds of food.

Certainly your type has been overlooked.  That just means you’re weird.

The secret word is pigeonhole

Related Reading:

How NOT To Decorate The Bachelor Pad

My Bachelor Pad

Bachelor Step #10: Collect the Right Toys

Bachelor Step #1: THE BACHELOR PAD

$15 Million Ultimate Bachelor Pad

Tenuously Related Reading:

Google-Stalking The Ex

Logan’s Run & Population Control

World Of Warcraft…Dating?

Bachelors In History

Sound Of Music Death Match!!! Liesl v Maria

Kitten Of Evil

Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door

Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz

Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!

Enter your email address:
Delivered by FeedBurner 

http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/digg_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/reddit_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/dzone_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/stumbleupon_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/delicious_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blinklist_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blogmarks_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/furl_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/technorati_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/google_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/myspace_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/facebook_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/yahoobuzz_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/twitter_48.png

State of the Bachelor Address: July

by Sir Jonathan Boniface Perry

My fellow blog readers, we do not harass Caesar with tickle fights to haze him, but to Epilady him because he’s Mediterranean and obviously pretty hairy (Mediterranean men recognize their condition and are not offended.  Especially Caesar.).  Yea, verily, here’s the state of the bachelor:  Hungry!  No, really, here it is:

1. Whenever the theme song for “The Office” plays, I make up another song on the spot and sing it over the top of the theme.  Sometimes there are lyrics which may or may not include “Shake your butt.  Shake your butt, baby.”  I’m working on that.  On a related note, I’m sad to hear that Steve Carell plans to leave the show at the end of next season.  Bummer.

2. Last week I was accidentally subscribed to Ladies Home Journal.  Also Parents Magazine and Family Circle.  Probably a sweepstakes entry gone bad, though I don’t rule out a clever prank.  My issue of Family Circle arrived in the mail today.  Really, I did cancel them.

3. Found a dead bird.  1st bird this year.  3 last year.  My yard might be cursed.  I also suspect vuvuzelas.  Or soccer in general.  I left the bird because it was on the edge of the yard and had already been sitting several days.  It smelled a bit & its little claws were sticking up all twig-like.  I mowed around it, so there’s a small square patch unmowed on the side of my front lawn being fertilized a special way.

4. Yes, I realize DB could also stand for Douche Bag.  Oy.

5. I traced several lines of ancestors back into Switzerland for a few hundred years to as early as the 1500s. Crazy awesome! That’s 500 years!  Didn’t know we had any Swiss.  I knew about a few of our German lines, as well as Chippewa, Cherokee, likely Welsh and Dutch, but not about the Swiss.  Still haven’t found how my dad might be related to Benjamin Franklin.  (More to come later on this genealogy business.  Probably.)

6. Average daily blog hits in June- over 100!

7. Found a great Belgian Chocolate Gelato sold by the pint at the supermarket.  Need to quit buying it so I can lose weight.

8. (Update on nicknaming post.) a)Darrin at work has started calling me Pretty Pretty Princess.  Retribution is required.  b)I’m trying out other nicknames for Paul J. who was non-plussed by the nickname Paulina.  Paolo was also apparently inadequate.  I’m thinking Polyglot or something else with Poly-.  Maybe Polymer (not Polyamorous).  c)Still need a good nickname for Randy besides Bookie and Wizzer (not a spelling error from me).  Randalina doesn’t quite do it.  Maybe the Great Randini. d) Nickname for Dave Micek, DJ Mice K, is still super awesome!

9.Today, the aforementioned Apollo Polyglot at work guessed I was only 27 years old (he’s 10 yrs off).   This, of course, rocks.  Not sure whether this guess was based on my maturity or if my vampire white skin is paying off.

10. Need to renew my passport for that cruise in Dec.  It needs to be valid for 6 months after the trip, but mine would only be good for 5 1/2 months after.  Oh, hey, I’m taking a cruise.  I’ll sunburn in style.

11. I now have over 13,000 songs on my iPod!  Sure, a few hundred tracks are chapters of audio books.  Sure, I had to finally upload a few of those Mozart CDs last night that had been sitting around unused for a few years.  Sure, 135 of those tracks are of my own poorly recorded music and of those maybe 30 are duplicates.  Do I have a 2-disc set of a Bulgarian women’s folk choir singing Bulgarian folk songs leftover from a world music binge in the ’90s?  Yes, I do.  But I’ve reached a special milestone.  If you figure that each album averages 10 tracks, this would mean I should have about 1,300 albums.   According to my iTunes it would take 35 days to listen to this 58GB of songs.  Will I listen to all of these songs straight through uninterrupted over those 35 days?  I will not in a boat with a goat.  But I can, if I wish to kill myself that way.  Also, there is chocolate gelato.

12. Thwarted a kitchen invasion by ants last week.  They were probably displaced by the recent heavy rains.  I gassed my house with poison that probably was the cause of my subsequent sickness.

13. Put down 120 lbs of topsoil near the foundation of the house to fill low spots that were pooling with water during those heavy rains.  Need more.  A little water was leaking into the basement.  On a positive note, I could set-up a Slip-and-Slide in the garage.

In conclusion, that is the recent state of the bachelor.  Will there be changes?  Probably.  Will they be snail-paced?  Most certainly.   Will you have a good Independence Day/July 4th Holiday?  I hope so.  May the force be with you.

The secret word is Polyphonic

A Similar List:

My 25 Humanoid Things

Related Links:

Nicknaming Your Friends For Fun (and Revenge)

Other Linky Links:

Will Your Siblings Use Up The Good Names?

A Photographic Memory

Children, Braid Your Nosehairs

Couples vs Singles: Socialization

Bachelors In History

Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner


Related Blogs

http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/digg_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/reddit_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/dzone_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/stumbleupon_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/delicious_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blinklist_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blogmarks_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/furl_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/technorati_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/google_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/myspace_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/facebook_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/yahoobuzz_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/twitter_48.png

Domesticated Bachelor RESOLUTIONS For 2010

Happy New Year and junk! 2008 and 2009 were great years for me.  I made swell strides in personal improvement:  bought a house, changed jobs for the first time in 9 years, lost almost 40 pounds, finished writing a book, started this blog, and dated a few good-looking and fascinating (if unhappy) women.  2010 is promising and I hope to take a hearty chunk out of its hopeful offerings.  Here’s my (public) list of resolutions for the new year (the private list may or may not include shameful notions like ‘Online Dating’,  ‘Invisalign’, and job advancement.  Yes, the public list is shameful, too.).

  1. Get below 200 pounds for the first time since just after college (Allow for muscle tone & abs.  If there’s good muscle tone and a nice 6 pack, then just over 200 pounds is fine and not bad for a 6 footer built like a linebacker.  Or me.).   I could totally do it by summer.  Maybe.
  2. Get more sleep.  Unless I’m hanging out with attractive women until the wee hours, there’s no reason I should exhaust myself and make my brain dull and eyes red (though bloodshot brings out the blue in my eyes).  This may mean more hopeful cocktails of Melatonin & Tylenol PM.  Of course insomnia is insomnia.
  3. Save more and invest more.  $$ x $$= $$$$$$
  4. Be more confident & fearless.  Don’t care what people think (like the unhappy, uber-critical, pretty good-looking girl-woman I was sorta kinda not dating for 6 months who teased me a few times for not being manly enough.  Man, I miss her.).  Also, don’t overshare feelings, especially with uber-critical women.
  5. Be more manly & rugged.  (ok, yeah.  So I’d like to be a bit more dude-ish, but not in an obvious, obnoxious, pandering to the critics sort of way).  I’ll still listen to the Pet Shop Boys.
  6. Do one major home project:  new siding, update a bathroom or the kitchen (by ‘do’, I mean pay someone skilled to ‘do’ this project).
  7. Do 2 minor home projects:  trim, doorway casing, paint stuff.
  8. Plant at least one new tree on my property.  Front yard 1st.  Maybe a Birch or Japanese Maple.  Maybe both.  Also an evergreen.  That sounds like 3.
  9. Do some landscaping.  Flagstone walkway.  Sunken garden in the low corner of the backyard.  Junk like that.
  10. Learn a manly skill or 2, like wiring a new light fixture or building a built-in bookcase.  Or join a fantasy football league.  It shouldn’t be as exhausting as the daily fantasy baseball league I was in for 2 years.
  11. Do more cool adventurous sorts of things:  whitewater rafting, backpacking, large hill climbing, long trail hiking.  Canoeing the boundary waters (if there are showers).
  12. Be more sociable & less reclusive.  More Jay Gatsby, less Ted Kaczynski.  Also, make friends.
  13. Date more frequently & less stressfully.  More irons in the fire reduce the chance that a single iron will burn you.  Or something dumb.
  14. Finish writing one of the books I’ve been puttering around in.  I’ve been chipping away at 3 or 4 books, but get distracted easily.  One project has 22 pages of notes, but only 7 pages of written product.  What’s up with that?
  15. Resume writing music.  Finish some songs.  Maybe learn to use the Pro Tools recording software I bought in ’08 right before I bought the house.  (If ever tempted to write a song for a girl again, sleep on it a few days first and be sure it’s finished and not incredibly dorky.  Or containing dark humor.  Dangit.)
  16. Waste less time.  This includes spending less pointless time online or wasting too much time on wishy-washy women, however much you dig them and can’t get over them.
  17. If all else fails, follow the 11 Steps To Becoming A Domesticated Bachelor.

(Again, I am not actually a Domesticated Bachelor.  I just play one in my mind.)

What resolutions do you goats have for 2010?

Related Reading:

11 Steps To Becoming A Domesticated Bachelor

Unrelated Awesome Reads:

Google-Stalking The Ex

Logan’s Run & Population Control

Valentine’s Day Shame

World Of Warcraft…Dating?

Bachelors In History

Sound Of Music Death Match!!! Liesl v Maria

Kitten Of Evil

Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door

Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz

Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/digg_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/reddit_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/dzone_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/stumbleupon_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/delicious_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blinklist_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blogmarks_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/furl_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/technorati_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/google_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/myspace_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/facebook_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/yahoobuzz_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/twitter_48.png

Ode To Autumn

autumn in vermont scarecrow fall leavesby Jonathan Bogman Perry

I think leaf-peeping sounds like it should be a punishable offense.  It would be cool to do, but it just sounds dirty.  Anyway, it’s autumn and time to start taking care of the fallen leaves and wrap up the yard work.  For about a decade after college I lived in a duplex apartment that was pretty unfit for humanity.  There were advantages, though, one of which was the great non-problem of yard work.  I didn’t have to do it.  It’s one of those odd benefits of apartment living.  I actually lived in a basement duplex, so there was a yard on the property and, from time to time, such as when I was dissatisfied with the state of the acreage, I took matters into my own hands and cleaned up my area by trimming back some bushes that had taken to regularly whacking me or removed a discarded refrigerator which has somehow blown into the yard.  Yard work wasn’t required of me by the lease, nor, apparently, was it required of anyone.

The thing is, I do actually enjoy yard work and have fond memories of doing it in ages past.  I find it even more satisfying now to do at my own place.  I affectionately remember during my youth going kicking and screaming to mow the lawn at the threatening behest of my folks, whom, I should add, I love dearly, but might have been evicted by the neighborhood association had it not been for my infrequent yard maintenance.  During my near decade of college I would come home once every few months to find that the jungle in my parents’ backyard had managed to swallow most of the yard tools and several large and endangered mammals.  Of course, I wasn’t the only one to do the yard work.  I do have 2 younger brothers, but either one brother managed conveniently to be overseas in Europe for the school year, or the youngest had a debilitating broken toe which prevented any physical activity besides walking 2 miles to school each way or dancing in the school musical (I really wanted to say ’run on the track team’, but that’s just not so).

I enjoy raking leaves during the crisp autumn afternoons, building great piles of arboreal death, but I would enjoy dental surgery if it were outside in the fall.  Autumn is always thrilling with the fantastic foliage colors of red, orange, brown, and yellow and the nip in the air that promises a brisk winter right around the corner.  These are the days of the holidays and refreshingly happy vacations.  It’s when sports get fun again.  I’m sure I would very much enjoy New England in the fall.  It’s a fantasyland that I have yet to experience.  Perhaps one day when I finally grow up and become a man I’ll move out to New England just so I can be there in the autumn to happily rake up the mountains of fallen leaves that have swallowed the yard and a lost California Condor or two.  I’d probably just leave them there.  They’re so pretty.  The leaves, too.

Vaguely Related Reading:

The Prophecy Of The Tornado And the Trailer

How NOT To Decorate The Bachelor Pad

My Bachelor Pad

Bachelor Step #10: Collect the Right Toys

Bachelor Step #1: THE BACHELOR PAD

$15 Million Ultimate Bachelor Pad

Tenuously Related Reading:

Google-Stalking The Ex

Logan’s Run & Population Control

Valentine’s Day Shame

World Of Warcraft…Dating?

Bachelors In History

Sound Of Music Death Match!!! Liesl v Maria

Kitten Of Evil

Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door

Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz

Subscribe to the Domesticated Bachelor through RSS or link to one of the buttons below! Do it!

Enter your email address: Delivered by FeedBurner

http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/digg_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/reddit_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/dzone_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/stumbleupon_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/delicious_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blinklist_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blogmarks_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/furl_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/technorati_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/google_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/myspace_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/facebook_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/yahoobuzz_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/twitter_48.png

Tree Pruner or Medieval Weapon?

treepruner2by Jonathan B. Perry

Saturday night I went into Ace Hardware to use my $5 birthday gift card before it expired (I’m on their mailing list).  I dragged my car the 3 minutes through the snow and ice with the single purpose of buying a tree pruner, one of those telescoping tree pruners for high spots in your tree that you can’t reach with the regular clippers.  Now, in December I actually climbed one of my trees to trim it, but that didn‘t feel so safe and I was a bit lightheaded after coming down.  I’m not the monkey I used to be.  Ace has 3 telescoping pruner models and even though there was a big price gap between the 8 foot and the 12 foot models, I went with the more expensive 12 foot pruner and can’t wait for it to warm up just a little so I can pretty-up my trees.

Taking my long pruner down from the display, it occurred to me how much this felt like a medieval weapon.  This was perhaps why I dawdled in the store a little longer, walking up and down the aisles, either feeling like a guard with a spear or a horseless jouster.  jousting2It was pretty excellent.  I even ran into an old friend who was shopping for a drill bit (I won’t say anything about tool size comparison).  The cashier asked a bit sarcastically if she could bag it up for me.  It felt great to finally get this excellent gardening tool-weapon to add to my arsenol of domestication.

I remember using the telescoping pruner on my grandparents’ property in CA over the years.  They had walnut trees, oaks, and eucalyptus, mostly.  They’ve since sold the grand old acreage, much to everyone’s great sadness, but I bet they still have their tree pruner.  They still have trees.  They still like tools.  They’re still alive.

http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/digg_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/reddit_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/dzone_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/stumbleupon_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/delicious_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blinklist_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/blogmarks_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/furl_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/technorati_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/google_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/myspace_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/facebook_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/yahoobuzz_48.png http://www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com/wp-content/plugins/sociofluid/images/twitter_48.png