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Archive for May 2010

WHITE WEDDING

Congratulations to my brother Chris who was married this weekend!  Best wishes to Chris and Kirsten for a lifetime of happiness.

He’s no longer a bachelor.  Also, the wedding wasn’t much like the one in the Billy Idol video (no leather pants).  (By the way, the undoctored video embed on YouTube was disabled by request, so this is “White Wedding:  Literal Video Version”.)

The secret word is chapel.

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    FAMOUS LIVING BACHELORS

    A few years ago, celeb news show The Insider listed the top 10 bachelors in Hollywood.  This is how it went:

    Owen Wilson

    1. George Clooney
    2. Leonardo DiCaprio
    3. Matthew McConaughey
    4. Ryan Seacrest
    5. Vince Vaughn
    6. Jamie Foxx
    7. Owen Wilson
    8. Orlando Bloom
    9. Bruce Willis
    10. John Mayer

    Recently, I made a list of FAMOUS HISTORICAL BACHELORS, but steered away from living bachelors.  Listing well-known contemporary bachelors is an iffy thing because a) your famous bachelor dude might only be famous to a pile of rocks and b) as long as these guys live, the possibility exists that they’ll get sucked into the institution of marriage, thus nullifying certain bachelorhoods.  For instance, Vince Vaughn, who was listed in the above list, was married in January, so he no longer qualifies.  Of course, any list can be rewritten, modified and tossed.  Having said that, here is, after several minutes of carelessly intense online research, my list of famous contemporary bachelors (in no particular order).  As always, if you find some other good examples, let me know by leaving insane rambling comments & I’ll either edit them in or save them for another list.

    • Bill Maher (comedian/caustic)
    • Ed Koch (former mayor of NYC)
    • David Souter (former Supreme Court Justice)
    • Anthony Kiedis (singer for Red Hot Chili Peppers)
    • Anthony Michael Hall (actor)
    • Jeremy Piven (actor)
    • Karl Lagerfeld (fashion designer)
    • Lindsey Graham (US Senator from SC)

      Adam Clayton of U2

    • Matt Dillon (actor)
    • Philip Seymour Hoffman (actor)
    • Rick Rubin (music producer)
    • Ricky Gervais (actor/comedian)
    • Ralph Nader (politician)
    • Ron Jeremy (porn actor)
    • Tyler Perry (writer/director/actor)
    • Adam Clayton (bassist for U2)
    • Al Pacino (actor)
    • Billy Idol (rocker)
    • Carl Lewis (Olympian)
    • Kevin Spacey (actor)
    • Morrissey (singer-songwriter)
    • Quentin Tarentino (director/actor)
    • Vin Diesel (actor)
    • Drew Carey (actor/comedian)-engaged
    • Hugh Grant (actor)
    • Leonardo DiCaprio (actor)
    • Matthew McConaughey (actor-has 2 kids with his girlfriend)
    • Gene Simmons (lead singer of KISS has 2 kids with longtime partner & former Playboy Playmate Shannon Tweed)
    • Ryan Seacrest (tv & radio host)
    • Jamie Foxx (actor/singer)
    • Owen Wilson (actor)
    • Orlando Bloom (actor)
    • John Mayer (singer-songwriter)
    • George Clooney (actor)

    (These men are reportedly unmarried heterosexuals, though some may be in long term relationships and have children.  A few are believed to be homosexual, but have stayed mum on the issue.)

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    4 Ways to Screw Up a Perfectly Good Thing

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    The Minefield of Caddishness

    Black Adder

    One of my friends on Facebook recently posted some swell clips of a BBC show that I hadn’t seen before.  I hadn’t seen it yet because a) I don’t live in Britain and b) BBC America is passing off Star Trek the Next Generation as a British show (probably because Patrick Stewart is a limey) instead of showing a broader variety of what makes the BBC unique:  British tv culture.  Maybe it’s cheaper (maybe it’s a way to draw in potential Doctor Who fans).  I didn’t mean to go off half-cocked on BBC America (also, I’ll save my government-owned-tv talk for another venue).  They really do have lots of great stuff on the BBC:  Doctor Who, That Mitchell and Webb Look, Little Britain, Peep Show (not quite what it sounds like) & the occasional teen discomfort bit, but I’d like to see more of their recent shows as well as their classic-old stuff, heavy on the humor side:   Fawlty Towers, Monty Python, My Family, Black Adder, The Thin Blue Line, Father Ted, All Creatures Great & Small.  Junk like that.  I hear Red Dwarf is cool (in an Anglophile Sci-Fi nerd sorta way).  Frankly, I like being surprised by the awesomeness of classic BBC shows from the last 50 years, so I’m open to them mixing it up (instead of showing 4 hours of Top Gear in a row.  It’s a fine program, but 4 hours at a go?).  It’s television I’ve never seen because I’ve lived my entire life on the other side of the pond.  There’s something fun about catching up on the best of another culture and trying to discern what the heck they’re talking about over there, figuring out contexts and values.  Then there’s that whole adopted nostalgia thing I’m dealing with.  It’s slightly demented.

    Anyway, back to the video:  This clip is of Harry Enfield doing a fake old-timey PSA thingy called “Women Keep Your Virtue“.  It warns women of the minefield of caddishness and of certain men who secretly desire to take diabolical liberties with their knees.  So, if you’re going to be caddish, know that women have been warned.  Some of them.

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    The secret word is knees.

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