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Famous Historical Bachelors-A List

by Jonathan Bippity Perry

Billy Idol

Billy Idol

I’ve been compiling a list of famous historical bachelors for a while for no reason. Maybe for future blog posts or so I can worm them annoyingly into awkward conversations.  Maybe I’ll write a cleverly titled book, BACHELOR Profiles In Courage (And Shame), and sneak copies into the Kennedy sections of bookstores and libraries.  I’ve already written about some of the dudes in previous blog posts, if only to help single guys realize how successful they can be with fewer distractions.  Death or some sort of finality is needed to gauge one’s determination at bachelorhood, so I haven’t really included too many modern celebs.  I might throw in living guys like Billy Idol just to mix things up (I’m pretty sure he’s still alive.  And single.).  If you find some other good examples, let me know by leaving insane rambling comments.

Guys I’ve Already Written About (linked for your pleasure)
Vincent Van Gogh
King Ludwig II (Mad King Ludwig)
President James Buchanan (The Bachelor President)
Sherlock Holmes (yeah, he’s fictional)
Jesus
Thomas Aquinas

beethoven

Beethoven

Musicians
Franz Schubert
Johannes Brahms
Maurice Ravel
Frederic Chopin
George Gershwin
Ludwig van Beethoven

Artists
Edgar Degas
Edvard Munch
Leonardo DaVinci
Toulouse-Lautrec

Philosophers & Theorists & Writers
Blaise Pascal
Isaac Newton
Adam Smith
Arthur Schopenhauer
Voltaire
W.H. Auden
Immanuel Kant
Henry David Thoreau

Other Random Single Dudes
Edward Heath (former British PM)
Meriwether Lewis
George Eastman

As I study up on some of these goats and discover a few were actually married (or perhaps really women), thus shortening the list, I may be required to add modern bachelors in hopes that they stay lonely (I mean single) for the rest of their lives.  In that event, here are some guys still living (except for a dead one).

Modern Bachelors

Andre the Giant Princess Bride

Andre the Giant (top) w/dudes from The Princess Bride

Billy Idol
Ralph Nader
Al Pacino
Drew Carey (apparently engaged)
Bill Maher
Hugh Grant
Leo DiCaprio
Ed Koch
Anthony Michael Hall
Andre the Giant (yeah, he’s dead)
George Clooney

The secret fake word is spaz.

Related Reading:

Famous LIVING Bachelors

The Remaining Bachelor Princes

Bachelor Profiles: Vincent Van Gogh

BACHELORS IN HISTORY

Bachelor Profiles: Sherlock Holmes

BACHELORS IN CATHOLICISM

Bachelor Profiles: Mad King Ludwig

Bachelor Profiles: The Bachelor President

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15 Responses to “Famous Historical Bachelors-A List”

  • Jay:

    Levi Johnston, George Michael, Boy George, Michael Jackson, Prince, Barney Frank, Barney the Purple Dinosaur

  • Jay:

    Sponge Bob Square Pants, The Fonze

  • admin:

    Nice additions. I guess qualifying what a ‘bachelor’ is becomes significant. Do we count the ‘playboy’ types that were eventually ensnared into marriage? Do we count the dudes that have been married, then divorced? Prince & Michael Jackson have each been married at least once, I believe. I thought Prince had remarried, even. Hugh Hefner might be a bachelor type, but he’s been married a few times. George Michael wants your sex.

  • Jay:

    I was actually just going for negative bachelor stereotypes (except for the fonze). But i’m also thinking that at least 1/3 of the popes have been bachelors. And WHAT an amazing bachelor pad they have!!!

  • admin:

    Hahaha!!! Yeah, at a 1/3.

  • Johanna:

    Hefner is a dried up prune….

  • admin:

    He is like 80ish, right? Prunes are good for you, too.

  • P.M.Chin:

    Warren Beatty was a notable bachelor for a long time before he married Annette Bening. Apparently, nobody thought he would ever get married. And I don’t think Jack Nicholson has ever been married.

  • admin:

    Those cads. Didn’t think of them. Thanks, MiniMart (AM-PM).

  • Broadleigh:

    Doug Bachelor is famous and historical. Any column about him coming down the pike soon?

  • admin:

    Haha! No current plans, BK! In fact, isn’t his name spelled differently? Like with a ‘t’ or something abnormal? Homonyms are good, though.

  • AiR:

    Divorced men shouldn’t count; like Clooney. I couldn’t be effed checking up the rest.

  • Duck:

    Maybe you should distinguish between bachelors who had things going with women, but never married (most of them) and those who never had anything with a woman, for example Isaac Newton.

  • punat:

    the indian business tycoon RATAN TATA is also a chronic bachelor