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The Jaded Sage And What Women Want

The Fonz

The Fonz

When I sent out my bachelor questionnaire (read Part 1: Why Are They Single? & Part 2: Dating Habits), most of the guys who responded actually answered the questions.  This one response was the exception.  Instead, I got a bit of sage, if maybe somewhat jaded, advice from one of the older bachelors about what women want, which suggests I may have a few problems, but what does he know?  Also, I didn’t actually ask about how to score with women, but…

“Confidentially, I must say that if you really want to score with women…don’t believe them when they say “I want a nice guy next time.”  Women don’t know themselves in a conscious way.  What they really want, what they’re attracted to is… a confident bad boy they can change to be nice to them.  A problem is he’ll never actually change and if he did, they would get bored with him.  I believe a non-respectful bad boy arouses a woman’s libido a lot more than a sweet nice guy.  A guy needs to learn not to care too much… or at least to have a healthy indifference.  That attracts women a lot more than being a sweet, sappy hungry-looking insecure little boy.  They want a guy who is in control of the social situation, can keep the conversation going, listens, and asks just enough questions to allow her to do about 85% of the talking.  Women like a guy who not only listens, but understands, and asks for clarification on things as necessary in an effort to get the gist of what it is she’s really trying to say.”

This has some ideas similar to those in the Brigitte Dale video about Nice Guys.  Also, the part about a woman wanting a guy she can change is similar to PM Chin‘s acknowledgment in her article Turnabout is Fairplay that women look at men like fixer-uppers. There seem to be some valid points here, but I’m sure it varies since, you know, women vary and stuff.  What do you goats think?  More specifically, what do you women think?  Is there value to this?  Some points yes, some points no?

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9 Responses to “The Jaded Sage And What Women Want”

  • Jay:

    EVERYTHING makes more sense now. Thank you Jaded Sage!

  • admin:

    I know, right?

  • admin:

    I think that might pass for the name of a jazz band: The Jaded Sage.

  • P.M.Chin:

    I always thought that the opinion of Vince Vaughn’s character in the movie Swingers was right, all a guy really has to do is stare intently at the woman and look like he’s listening in order to be fiendishly attractive. Your confidential source was right about women finding nice guys dull. We really do want the bad boy who is nice underneath all the leather and scruffiness and taps into that latent maniacal niceness for our sakes. I know that it isn’t realistic, but when the best that realism has to offer is generally over-weight, boring, accountant-types who are addicted to World of Warcraft and make the dread mistake of leaving their socks on when they are naked, can you blame us for finding the bad-boy mystique more titillating?

  • Jay:

    The real bad boy leaves most of their clothes on when they’re naked.

  • admin:

    It’s swell to get a woman’s opinion on this most important issue. Too bad I didn’t get memo until now. I swear, my mom could’ve prepared me, but no.

  • Jay:

    That’s part of the deal. There is no memo. The only thing worse than a pansy good boy is a bad boy poseur. A sheep in wolf’s clothing, so to speak.

    In fact, this blog might have to be shut down by the sisterhood of the traveling pants, now that their secrets are being disclosed to good boys.

  • admin:

    No. Don’t tell the sisterhood! Wait, go ahead & do it. I’m not afraid of the sisterhood. Honestly, though, I feel gypped. All this effort to be good is exhausting and I could have been luxuriating in scoundreliness and junk this whole frikking time.