by Jonathan Bongo Perry
In an earlier post, Dating Advice From the Family, I expressed strong feelings about accepting dating advice from the family (I was against it). I’ve since thought it over with much anguished soul-searching (not really) and have changed my mind. I over-reacted. I do that a lot. I rescind my moratorium (the fact that I’m visiting my brother this weekend has only a little to do with my decision). Advice shouldn’t be disregarded outright simply because it comes from family. It should be discarded because it sucks. Family members know you better than anyone and might have some idea of what you need or what you can do. They know your sad, pathetic history. Perhaps they’ve caused some of it (this is a completely different issue). Yes, advice is everywhere. Consider it all. Use what’s appropriate. For goodness sake, be discreet and speak in generalities if you have to blab. Beware of potential nagging.
What I think I was most against was the pressure of time. I don’t like being pressured to do stuff according to a timeline, especially from others. This is evident when you consider I’m in my 30s and have been known to dawdle for years on specific items. House. Jobs. Relationships. I’m a dawdler. Still dawdling. I suppose I need the pressure, however much I dislike it. Everything has to be thought out from all angles, compared, weighed and analyzed. Things must be perfect. I have my own foolish, faulty, exhaustive (and exhausting), and aimless procedures that lead me back to square one: indecision. Honestly, if I were to read advice books, they should be stuff like How To Be More Decisive, How To Be More Of An Alpha, and possibly How To Trick the Girl You Like Into Liking You Without Being Obvious Or Creepy (Except Now You’re Reading This Book And Don’t You Feel Stupid?). But then I’d actually read stuff like Oh, You Didn’t Consider This Issue Thoroughly, You Dork and Hold On There A Minute, Cowboy (I want to be a cowboy. not really. Actually, that might be cool…for a few days, until you get those saddle sores or haven’t bathed in a while.).
Now, whether you want to tell certain family members certain bits of info and expose yourself to potential nagging, harassment, and pressure is still a decision you need to consider carefully. Consult your doctor to see if family advice is right for you. In some cases family advice might lead to nausea, diarrhea, even insanity. Family advice should not be taken lightly or with alcohol.
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