If you could find out why you’d been rejected by someone, you’d want to know, right? Absolutely! Whether you’ve been rejected by someone you’ve been seeing a few years or have been rejected by the person you thought might turn out to be that special someone you’d eat lunches with in the park, it would be great to know. None of that “it’s not you, it’s me” business. No.
Please fill out this card.
On a scale from 1 to 5, rate:
- our conversations
- the frequency of calls
- the frequency of emails
- date enjoyment
- how interesting I am
- what you think of my taxidermy hobby
- what you think of my undertaker job (and how it relates to taxidermy)
- how attractive I am in downpours
- how our personalities match
Answer the following questions as completely as possible.
- Why did you lose interest?
- At what stage of the game did you discover I was a troll?
- Were you ever really interested?
- Will you shop here again?
A dating satisfaction survey would be swell. You might learn something. It would be useful knowledge, too, especially if it’s a minor item in your approach that’s easily adjustable. Maybe it was how you sold yourself. The self-advertising. Clearly, there was some communication problem, because it’s obvious you’re awesome. Even if it’s something major about you that you couldn’t easily change or wouldn’t want to change (you’re an unabashed Ace of Base fan), it would be great to know where you stand. If there’s something you can work on, work on it. If not, move on and adjust your target.
Maybe you thought things were going swimmingly and started getting those lovesick feelings you hadn’t felt in such a long time. This person came closest to meeting most of the items on your very selective checklist (part of the reason you’re otherwise single). Maybe you’d started your rusty amateur dating/attention strategy or were full into it, started envisioning or enjoying your new wonderful future with this person, then suddenly the bottom drops out and the object of your affection turns cold or starts treating you like an unwanted stranger. Wait, this hasn’t happened before. It’s often hard to pinpoint the moment of breakdown on your own. Only the other person really knows. And it’s so different each time.
Sadly, it’s unrealistic and exceedingly uncomfortable to ask and, seriously, do you really want to know? It might be very crushing to find out that this person you’re so fond of thinks you’re hideous, doesn’t believe you’ve amounted to much, and never really liked you in that way. It was all a big misunderstanding. You’re just fun to talk to. Sometimes. We had a few laughs. There was a little time to kill while the stew simmered.
That would be devastating. A sudden disinterest can be stupefying and such a blow from which you feel you’ll never recover. But you will. In fact, this is how we learn. How we grow. Maybe there’s something really wrong with the other person. Something better may come along. Or maybe not. And really, love is hard to measure on a scale. It’s a feeling that we either feel or we don’t. Sometimes it needs a little push. Maybe a shove. But watch out for the cliffs.
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