A while back I spent a whirlwind three day weekend with my brother Jay and his delightful wife and was completely amazed at their full social calendars. In the few days I stayed in their home, we ate at other peoples’ homes on three different occasions and went out to eat with other people twice. That’s five meals away from their home in a three day period. I suspect that perhaps they didn’t want to be left alone with me (or didn‘t want to clean up after me. You know, because of the food fights.). I don’t blame them. They even turned down other social invitations because, frankly, they do not have clones.
I find this whole socialization thing insane and unnatural and suspect it to be part of a secret pact they take as hipsters. On my own, I might go several weeks, possibly months, without socially cavorting with anyone outside of work, let alone being invited over for a happy dinner of veggie tacos to be followed by a vigorous game of Scrabble or Cranium. For my brother and his wife, their most social friends are, of course, other non-mutant, though slightly hipster, couples except for the occasional odd duck single person (me) to remind them how very nice it is to be coupled. Also, I live a long 6.5 hours from them, so they have a pleasant buffer zone.
I see this sort of thing happening with my other friends as the single folk are gradually sucked into the vortex of institutions (marital and mental). Some just drop off the face of the earth completely. Because couples befriend and find safety in the company of other couples (after which couples with children find other couples with children), I’ve come to appreciate those rare occasions where I am invited to join in their reindeer games. I even consider myself to be a valuable token single male friend useful for pity, as a fifth wheel, or, under duress, as a spare to even up a double or triple date. I can understand, though, the reluctance of normal couples to socialize with single people as many of these folk are single longer for good reasons, exhibited by a healthy variety of mutational factors such as strange body growths, retarded social skills, and psychopathic personalities. Not that you, my dear single reader, have any of these problems.
Studies have shown that single males have an easier time of being invited over socially to couples’ homes than do single females. Part of this mad theory (I have no footnotes for this encouraging study and don‘t really believe it) is that the husband or boyfriend is potentially jealous of a single male while conversely a wife or girlfriend is jealous of a single female, but because the wife/girlfriend deals with the hospitality and does the inviting, fewer single females are invited over for happy social time, much to the sadness of the single women of the world. Frankly, I notice no difference in my favor, but I‘m a guy. What do I know?
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