by Jonathan B Perry
After a certain point your mother stopped dressing you and your brothers in matching purple tuxedos and frilly shirts. Finally! Now it’s your own responsibility. Just as your house is an extension of you and your excellent style (and your mortgage company‘s), so is your wardrobe. Whether sporting proto-James Bond slick formal-gadget wear or lounging in your Hugh Hefner meets Austin Powers in the den smoking jackets, how you dress yourself lets the world know what kind of tasteful weirdo you are: formal, casual, Boho-sloppy, goth-undertaker, or sporty (Ludwig’s royal coronation garb was boss). The better you look and dress, the less you’ll hate yourself, and people will think more of you, too, because people are superficial and they suck. That old annoying saying, ‘dress for the job you want, not for the job you have‘, works in other areas as well: socializing, dating (those are probably the only areas). Of course, women seem to like it when a guy dresses up. They smell success and responsibility. And clothes make the man, apparently. Go ye therefore and acquire some dashing suits and dress shoes that can be used not just at your job as a daytrader or at church, but while socializing at the corner malt shop with your barber shop quartet. You may even find some swell trademark clothing items to make your own, like the sharp wooden shoes, pocket watches, or red dickies.
The secret word of the day is dickies.
(Thanks again alphainventions.com/ for the insane hits!)
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