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Archive for February 2009

Which is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz

by Jonathan B. Perry
Earlier we talked about types of crushworthy women, specifically the Elegant type and the Girl Next Door (GND) type (later I mention how Smart Girls are intimidating). While these two types seem to be my favorites, there are several other types that have great qualities and should be given serious consideration.

What kind of girl are you? (I don't know these people)

What kind of girl are you? (I don't know these people)

Funny- The funny girl always seems to know how to inject hilarity into the mundane.  She’s almost a comedienne without a gig, amusing her friends instead.

Quirky– The quirky girl is much like the funny girl, though perhaps less definable as funny or less aware that she is.  She’s a little strange in an interesting way, maybe a touch nerdy and unselfconscious.  She may have odd habits or hobbies.

Smart– The smart girl has a high IQ and is a good person to ask if you want to know certain data.  She may correct your grammar from time to time.  She also may have a few graduate degrees.

Sporty– The Sporty girl is of course athletic, playing in city leagues or with friends, often taking mountain climbing expeditions or hiking trips.  Her body is often in peak physical condition which is good for everyone (except maybe the other girls).

Sexpot– The sexpot is overtly sexy, being fully aware of her physical hotness and manifesting it through obvious flirtiness, whether in actions or dress.  The Sexpot often walks the line with being slutty.

Bad Girl– The Bad Girl will often take up that slutty mantle, but may be bad in more criminal and dangerous sorts of ways.  She often gets a rush by doing illegal things like shoplifting, or doing bad things like sleeping with her best friend’s boyfriend.

Girl Next Door– The GND is easy to talk to, normal and approachable, kind of innocent, but may also be hot and not really know it.  She seems like someone who might be tricked into dating a regular guy.

Elegant– The Elegant woman maintains a certain charming dignity about her.  This is exhibited not only by her fine dress, but through the grace, class, and decorum maintained in everyday activities.
quiz
The pseudo-Cosmo quiz below, which is super-non-scientific, has been designed to help you find out what type of woman you like (if you’re male) or what type of woman you are (If you’re female.  Or, if you’re a guy, you can take the quiz from the perspective of which type of woman you are or would be.  See how versatile this is?).  Score your response to each question on a scale of 1 to 5 (with 1 being what you dislike and 5 being what you most like), then add up the total for each type.  The closer you get to 20 points in one type, the more you like that type (or are that type).  See the scoring key below.  I’m sure other types have been left out, but this isn’t scientific and I’m not uber masochistic.  Thanks to Melinda’s good-looking friend Emily for the great suggestion.  I’ll never do this again.

1. She craves and seeks adoration for her body.
2. She often amuses her friends in regular conversation.
3. She likes to dress well at all times.
4. She might have a collection of pretty rocks.
5. She’s likely to be in a book club.
6. She likes to mountain climb.
7. She spray paints graffiti on the overpass.
8. She might be considered a pal/friend to a guy.
9. She often dresses revealingly.
10. She might engage in practical jokes.
11. She’s seen to be particularly classy.
12. She plays the xylophone in a rock band.
13. She’s good at giving advice.
14. She works out at the gym regularly.
15. She gets a rush from shoplifting lipstick.
16. She has an innocent manner about her.
17. She sleeps with a lot of guys.
18. She rarely gives a serious answer.
19. She gives charming dinner parties.
20. She names her pet turtles after classic movie stars.
21. She speaks philosophically about mundane things.
22. She’s often invited to play sand volleyball.
23. She slept with her best friend’s boyfriend.
24. The neighbor boy saw her as a good friend for years before really liking her.
25. She flashes her breasts at Mardi Gras or just whenever.
26. She has a secret ambition to be a comedian.
27. She embodies the upper class.
28. She makes Star Wars models.
29. She may have advanced educational degrees.
30. She catches most games on tv when she doesn’t go to them in person.
31. She enjoys breaking rules and laws.
32. She’s often seen as the perfect girl to take home to the folks.

Scoring KeySexpot-#s 1,9,17,25; Funny-#s 2,10,18,26; Elegant-#s 3,11,19, 27; Quirky-#s 4,12,20,28; Smart-#s 5,13,21,29; Sporty-#s 6,14,22,30; Bad-#s 7,15,23,31; Girl Next Door-#s 8,16,24,32

How did you score? Which is your type? Quit asking what I look like in drag.

The secret word is tranny.

Related Reading:

Celebrity Crushes:  The Girl Next Door

Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?

Sound Of Music Death Match!! Liesl v Maria

Intimidated By Smart Girls?

Google-Stalking the Ex

Valentine’s Day Shame

Dating Advice From The Family

Family Advice: A Reversal (S0rt Of)

Dating Satisfaction Survey

Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site

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ORAL HISTORY FIXATION COOKING

Last night I was poking around online for some simple bachelor dishes to try and/or share and was delighted to find this. Not only does this Great Depression Cooking video meet my need to find a simple recipe (though I probably won’t make it), but it also gives me my oral history fix (which is different from my oral fixation). 91 year-old Clara cooks a simple pasta and pea dish while telling about food during the Great Depression and gives a tale of Prohibition-era bootleggers making whiskey next door (sort of making her a Girl Next Door).  Clara is one bitchin’ babe for 91.  There are a total of 10 videos on the YouTube channel, so you can stock up on cheap recipes and stories in time for the next Great Depression.

What are some easy recipes you like that are bachelor doable?

The Domesticated Bachelor has reached 35,000 hits!!  Thanks for reading.

Related Post:

Becoming A Domesticated Bachelor:  Step #4. Learn To Cook

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11 Steps To Becoming A Domesticated Bachelor: #4. Learn To Cook

omeletby Jonathan B. Perry
Women seem to like it when a man can cook.  It takes some of the cooking responsibility off of her, if you ever get a woman who is willing to cook for you besides your mom, but it can also be useful if you’re preparing a romantic dinner for two (not for your mom). It can really be as easy as learning to cook a few favorite main dishes, some side dishes, and vegetables. Pick a few of your favorites and learn how to cook them from your mom, a cookbook, or from Martha Stewart’s evil website.

You might do well to familiarize yourself with difficult cooking terms, which are usually in a gibberish known as French, as well as measuring items, which often use the metric system you never learned. Learn to sauté, braise, or broil. Know your measuring spoons, cups, and pinches. If you’re feeling cocky, write your own recipes by making variations of other normal dishes with your own special ingredients after having experimented and deciding they‘re not poisonous. Other bachelor friends are good as tasters largely because they have nothing else to do (they‘re also expendable competition, so if they die, there is an upside). I keep reading in men’s magazines that one should know how to make an omelet (and perhaps spell it omelette) and this makes sense because if you have the basics down, you can add whichever ingredients you like (tomatoes, onions, peppers) and adjust for a guest (goat cheese, valium). Keep a fire extinguisher handy.

Not only will these cooking skills be good for romantic meals (again, not your mother), but they’ll come in handy in your bachelor life where you have no one else to cook for you, because you‘re actually a psycho-hermit. I somehow managed to burn my spaghetti noodles this week, so it’s not really looking good. Also, knowing how to cook will be useful if you ever throw a party or host a dinner for a group of friends. Chyeah. As if this would ever happen.

The secret word is metric.

Step #1. The Bachelor Pad

Step #2. The Right Wardrobe

Step #3. Shape Up, Fatty

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Anagram Generator/REARRANGE GOAT MAN

Anagrams are pretty excellent. Rearranging letters of a word or phrase to make another word or phrase is a lot of mindless fun. Popular with mystery writers, anagrams have worked their way into some bestselling works. so_dark_the_con

The Davinci Code has one (So dark the con of man is an anagram of Madonna of the Rocks). I believe there was a Sherlock Holmes story that used anagrams (but I can’t find it). J. K. Rowling sort of used it in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, but cheated (Tom Marvolo Riddle is an anagram of I Am Lord Voldemort, though it‘s really backwards because Tom Marvolo Riddle is the clue, but no one would ever guess the answer as Lord Voldemort with the I am at the beginning. I feel better having said that.).

Now, instead of having to do anagrams by hand with your own brain, there are anagram generators! Yay!  One I like is the Internet Anagram Server.

Check out the anagrams I’ve made below.  Make your own and leave your favorite anagrams in the comments.   We might post some of the best.  Or not.

Domesticated Bachelor=
A restitched cab loomed
A cab ceded hotter limos
Tom decried a hostile cab
a cab directed Tom’s hole

Jonathan Perry=
Rape Rat Johnny (I haven’t used this nickname in years)
Orphan Jay Rent
A horny pent jar
John, retry a nap

Jonathan Bryan Perry=
Thy ornery Japan barn
Horny Japan Bra Entry (Japan, huh?)
Try Nearby Japan Horn
A barren party Johnny
Jab near thy yarn porn

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Men Without Cats

nocatsby Jonathan B. Perry
I take umbrage at the idea that there’s something ‘funny’ about single men with cats. That’s utterly preposterous. If you consider that cats are more like women and dogs are more like men, it would only make sense that dog-men cope a little too well with other ‘men’ when they should be learning to cope with women by way of cats. How is a cat like a woman? Evil. No, just kidding! Haha! You know how you reach out to pet a cat when you’re sitting at a slight distance? At some point the cat will get comfortable and maneuver to just be out of reach, though seemingly still interested in the petting ceremony. You can tell that the cat still wants to be petted or at least looks anxious to be petted, but then you think to yourself, “Does the cat really want me to work harder to come to her?” “Does she not want me to come to her?” or “Is she mocking me?” or “Should I buy her jewelry?”

When my cat was alive, I’d find myself superimposing feelings of frustration for women onto her, which was pretty useful. I could have an imaginary argument with my mom or sister-in-law and manifest it live through interaction with Callie the calico kitty. For instance, in the absence of proper mental therapy, I might perceive a rough cat meow as the nagging beseeching of my mother, whereupon I’d presume to tell the cat where she could stuff her guilt trip (just an example, mom).cat-freudThis could in itself be a fantastic therapeutic device, because I’d feel the freedom to talk back without the normal consequences of human retribution (silent treatment). Not only would this make the cat a woman, but a therapist as well. Maybe a female therapist. How exciting.
(Wow. That’s a lot of cat art. I’ll totally have to write some now about sports or testicles or something masculine because the site has been suddenly overrun with cats & glamorous ladies.)
(Thanks to my brother, Jay Perry, for the ‘No Cats’ art. And for doing ‘The Safety Dance’. Do it now!)

Related Reading:

Kitten of Evil

Being An Uncle

Will Your Siblings Use Up The Good Names?

World Of Warcraft…Dating?

Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door

Celebrity Crushes: Elegant Women

Changing Your Relationship Status (On A Social-Networking Site)

Google-Stalking The Ex

Couples vs Singles: Socialization

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CELEBRITY CRUSHES: IS ELEGANCE ELITIST?

marytylermoore-sweaterby Jonathan B. Perry
Last time we talked about crushworthy celebrity women, particularly those who are like the Girl Next Door (GND).  Now, on the Elegant side of things are those women who maintain a certain charming dignity about them, not only signified by their fine dress, but largely for the grace, class, and decorum maintained while changing a flat tire or a loaded diaper.  They may also be any Jane Austen character ever. I’ve noticed two peculiarities about the Elegant celebrity women I have crushes on: 1st, that I haven’t placed very many into this category, and 2nd, they reached the peaks of their popularities in distant eras before you could put a computer on your lap or a phone in your pocket.

Some of my favorite elegant women include Mary Tyler Moore (Especially on The Dick Van Dyke Show.  Yum.), Grace Kelly, Julie Andrews, Lauren Bacall (photo right), and Natalie Wood (who split time as a Girl Next Door).  Between them, they did the bulk of their best work in the 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s when I was either not alive or super young.  My perceptions of them as elegant may be incomplete because most had other types into which they could fit, like Mary Tyler Moore might also moonlight as a Funny Girl Next Door who was later stuck wearing bad 70s clothes, unfortunately.lauren-bacall3

It could be that Hollywood was more elegant in the old days and therefore the characters were often more elegant and traditional.  Having said that, Hollywood may now be placing an emphasis on the Girl Next Door type, fully aware of the homespun attractiveness.  With Elegant women, it seems their qualities are timeless and I still really like them.  Of course, most actresses, on the surface, seem elegant when it comes time for an award show like the Oscars. But the fact that there are many fewer contemporary examples of Elegant women begs the question:  Is Elegant a dying breed?  Is it just a dress to be put on for the red carpet or the correct placement of a salad fork?  Is elegance elitist or just old fashioned? Is Hollywood forcing them out as part of an invisible French Revolution?

I recently read the James Herriot All Creatures Great and Small books about veterinarians in Yorkshire, England in the 1930s.  The books were excellent.  My friend Wendy then told me about the BBC series from the 1970s and I checked it out at the library.  This was also quite good and I developed a great fondness for the main actress, Carol Drinkwater, who played Helen Herriot.  You might say I’m smitten.

Doesn't Carol Drinkwater look a little like Evangeline Lilly? or vice versa?

Doesn't Carol Drinkwater look a little like Evangeline Lilly? or vice versa?

She‘s fantastic and seems to blend all the good stuff together: Girl Next Door who is Elegant and a little Funny. Anyway, to top it off, I recently learned she played a small part in Kubrick’s A Clockwork Orange, a non-Elegant, non-Girl Next Door movie.  I remember some weird/freaky stuff from A Clockwork Orange, and of course now I’ll have to rewatch it with this new and interesting revelation (I certainly won‘t say anything about Julie Andrews‘ topless scene in the ‘80s.  That would just confuse things.).

So, yeah.  Elegant, good.  Girl Next Door, good.  Smart, Funny, Quirky.  Good.

ADDENDUM:  I just remembered I really like Anne Hathaway, too.  Magically delicious.  She’s Elegant and maybe a little Girl Next Door-esque.  So there is a modern one.  Yay!

Related Reading:

Celebrity Crushes:  The Girl Next Door

Sound Of Music Death Match!! Liesl v Maria

Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz

Intimidated By Smart Girls?

Google-Stalking the Ex

Valentine’s Day Shame

Dating Advice From The Family

Family Advice: A Reversal (S0rt Of)

Dating Satisfaction Survey

Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site

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Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door

jenna-pam-the-office
by Jonathan B. Perry
I’m not one of those guys who is big on the celebrity crushes, but sometimes it will occur to me that this actress is striking in a special way or that actress/singer/model/heiress has something I find extra swell.  After carefully evaluating my favorite female celebrities with colorful graphs and misguided psycho-analysis, I’ve found I have a preference for those who generally fall into two categories: the Girl Next Door and Elegant.

The Girl Next Door (GND) type and the Elegant type are two fairly common types for a crush, but other types of women for whom one might crush include Sexpot, Bad Girl, Funny, Quirky, Smart, and Sporty.  This female grouping thing is basically a Spice Girl game (or female 7 Dwarfs for my Disney-cum-World of Warcraft friends) wherein each girl represents a different personality generalization.  Women in these other types may be excellent, but don’t resonate as much with me (Funny and Quirky do, but less on a celebrity level), possibly because I’m most drawn to women with whom I could see myself, and for me those women are mostly elegant or like the girl next door.

The Girl Next Door (GND) is easy to talk to.  The two of you could spend a fun Sunday in the park together feeding ducks (to pigeons) and throwing around the frisbee or you might enjoy taking a nice stroll downtown to window shop, especially if you’re impoverished.  Having grown up with the GND you feel very comfortable with her, but above all, she’s someone who’s human and pretty hot at the same time.  Also, the girl next door seems like someone who might be tricked into dating you.  This is perhaps the main thing.  For those of us who like this type of girl, a good arch-type is Jenna Fischer‘s character, Pam Beasley on The Office.  She’s good-looking, but doesn’t really know it and is maybe a little shy, but friendly and very approachable.

Evangeline Lilly’s character Kate on LOST used to have this GND type nailed, being all cute and innocent and freckly, but as the show has progressed, her character has been revealed to be a wily criminal, so flawed, in fact, that it moves her into the Bad Girl category and out of the center of my broken heart (country song to follow). Other good GND types include Gretchen Mol from Life On Mars (US), French actress Audrey Tautou who starred in Amelie, the late Natalie Wood (who splits time with Elegant), Anna Friel who played Chuck in Pushing Daisies, and, of course, Natalie Portman. Of course.

samantha-brown_2007My uncle John and I were recently expressing our great appreciation for the super-excellent Samantha Brown who has shows on the Travel Channel. She embodies the Funny category and still works the GND (ooh, combo-types are  extra special).  Giada De Laurentiis, with shows on the Food Network, actually looks a little like Natalie Portman.  She’s great and wouldn’t mind you eating garlic around her. It seems evident from this list that I watch a bit too much television and should be loaded with celebriphile shame.  But where else would I go?  Politics?

In reality, the closest I come to having a crush on a real girl next door, at the moment anyway, is the blogger Brigitte Dale who, until recently, lived in the same Midwest town in which I live.

Brigitte Dale

Brigitte Dale

I haven’t actually met her, but I think she’s swell.  Her video blogs are adorable and she has a smart and quirky writing style which I think is very endearing and funny.  Brigitte seems to fit the GND category well by coming across as an approachable hometown girl who’s really darn pretty.  Of course, she is a writer, so it is possible she could be a devious bunny shaver by night.

Next time we’ll look at the Elegant Women.  As if we had a shot.

(Oh, we’ve had 30,000 hits now!  In less than 3weeks!!  Thank you.  So much love.)

The secret word is trickery.

(Part 2-Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?)

(Part 3-Intimidated By Smart Girls?)

(Part 4-Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz)

Sound Of Music Death Match!! Liesl v Maria

Related Reading:

Google-Stalking the Ex

Valentine’s Day Shame

Dating Advice From The Family

Family Advice:  A Reversal (S0rt Of)

Dating Satisfaction Survey

Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site

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11 Steps to Becoming A Domesticated Bachelor: #3. Shape Up, Fatty

by Jonathan B. Perry

slim-goodbody-albumMy dear chubby bachelor friend, imagine yourself for a moment as a thin man, perhaps even muscular, and you are jogging lithely across verdant meadows with your special womanly someone as bluebirds sing Led Zeppelin around you.  Now, envision comfortably going shirtless at the pool in front of friends and strangers, unfazed by your body because of its glorious physique, except for maybe that bad yin and yang tattoo you got one smashed evening.  Wouldn’t life be better?

Growing flabby and fat isn’t much of an esteem builder and the huffing and puffing can be blamed on asthma for only so long, which is a shame.  I’d show before and after pictures, but of course they’d just be backwards.  Being in good shape is finding that sweet spot of healthiness.  You’ll be better able to engage in more physical activities in cool places with pretty girls without passing out (like that time in the Rocky Mountains), have the ability to wear select clothing that doesn‘t look hideously stretched or tent-like, gain that ever evasive self-confidence, and be more attractive to the opposite sex (perhaps at the top of the bachelor list).  Oh, and you may live longer, too, which comes in handy when it‘s time to use up your retirement money.
If you avoid over-indulging in tasty friedchocolatehamburgermilkshakedogs, enjoin in some moderate exercise a few times a week, possibly doing physical activities with your invisible friends, then you may be able to cut down on the enlargement that most of us succumb to as we age, except of course for those freaks who are always rail-like and/or wraith-like and are hated by everyone else.

Dutch Gymnasts

Dutch Gymnasts

You might consider joining a sports league or a gym.  You can certainly meet women at the gym.  So I hear.  Though, come to think of it, that might be like meeting women when you’re having the tarter scraped off your teeth.  Maybe not your best moment.  I suppose that’s why there are women-only gyms.

The secret word is burrito.

Step #1. The Bachelor Pad

Step #2. The Right Wardrobe

Related Blogs

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Celebrating 25 Thousand with Benny Lava!

Sometime this last weekend the Domesticated Bachelor saw his 25,000th hit/visit!  In just 2 weeks this site and its proto site have been lucky enough to have tricked my 10 friends…I mean, a bunch of you turkeys into visiting a lot.  Thank-you!  You rock!  One day, I’ll figure out the stats counter on the page to help prove it.  Mucho thanks to alphainventions.com for the incredible and unexpected exposure!  Instead of virtual pizza, which would be completely tasteless, though calorie-free, we’d like to celebrate with a completely random and unrelated video that’s pretty awesome.  Behold the vast glory of Buffalax’s “Benny Lava”!

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Presidents’ Day Special! The Bachelor President

by Jonathan B Perryjames_buchanan

It seems, historically, that marriage has been an unspoken requirement for American presidents, except, of course, for President #15, James Buchanan (1791-1868), whose raw bachelor sex appeal helped lay the groundwork for the Civil War (maybe not bachelor-induced, but his inability to stop southern succession wasn’t helpful).  Buchanan was the Democrat president right before Lincoln and is often considered by historians to be one of the worst.  And of all the presidents, he was the only one who never married.

It’s not that he didn’t try to debachelorize.  At about age 28 he actually fell in love with and even proposed to Ann Coleman, daughter of a wealthy iron-mill owner.  Sadly, Ann’s folks didn’t think old JB was up to snuff.  Shortly after Buchanan’s proposal was denied, the poor girl died under mysterious circumstances, a rumored suicide, and it seems that JB never tried again, swearing off marriage.  He was even barred from the funeral.  Keeping her letters always, he requested they be burned at his death.  Even so, it was suspected by many, including Andrew Jackson, that Buchanan may have maintained a homosexual relationship with Alabama Senator William Rufus King, with whom he lived for 15 years. Aaron V Brown referred to the two as “Buchanan and his wife”.  It’s hard to know.  Times were different then, though it is interesting to note that the nieces of both men later burned the men’s letters of correspondence.  Lots of letter burning.  How will they burn our blogs or emails when we’re gone?  Didn’t hear this stuff much in history class.

Anyway, Happy Presidents’ Day!

Related Reading:

Valentine’s Day Shame

Bachelor Profiles:  Mad King Ludwig

Bachelor Profiles: Sherlock Holmes

BACHELORS IN CATHOLICISM

Bachelors In History

Famous Historical Bachelors-A List

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Valentine’s Day Shame

by Jonathan B Perry
Not to go all girly on you, or anything, but I thought I’d talk for a moment about V Day in a reminiscent musing sort of way.

Shannon, Mrs. Abbott, and me at the Cinderella Ball

Shannon, Mrs. Abbott, and me at the Cinderella Ball

Wednesday, I hit a few stores (shopped, not robbed) and took a gander at the Valentine’s chocolate, as per my gluttony (chocolate, not V Day). Swarming the holiday aisles, hoards of parents with children in tow picked out Powerpuff Girls and Hanna Montana Valentines for the kids to pass out to their little friends and classmates. Of course, we all remember taking part in this ritual of elementary school, though we probably had more Batman, Transformers, GI Joe, and Smurf stuff. I also remember that we each had to give Valentines to everyone in the class if we gave them to anyone, as part of the communist gifting system that starts early in the schools, even if one of the kids was a little snot. Despite the gift equality edict, there was still a little wiggle room to show favor. You could always buy crappier cards for the kids you cared less about, then give the cooler cards to your friends, perhaps adding chocolate. If there was a special little someone you wanted to impress, you could even make your own homemade cards using construction paper, paper doilies, and glitter. This was an area in which my mother excelled in training her sons.

In her pursuit of making us properly domesticated humans, much attention was paid to teaching us certain arts and crafts that might eventually become useful in tricking future mates into liking us. Also, mom didn’t have any girls, so we’d have to do. We’d make those cards, but we’d also do weird, almost shameful things. Making sugar cookies and frosting them wasn’t bad because we’d get to eat several of them, and the Prince Charming costume for the Cinderella Ball was fine model-rocket-modelbecause it looked pretty cool and the girls dug it, but the mop doll thing was very different. And this was perhaps in high school, so it was extra weird. From some evil women’s magazine, she took the idea to make dolls out of mop heads for Valentine’s Day. Ribbons, bows, paint, and a hot glue gun were required in the multi-hour contruction. I believe we each made 2 or 3 and gave them to our closer female friends and interests. Apparently the girls liked them, but I think we always felt this essence of shame in having made them and publicly owning up to having made them. Now, if we’d made model rockets together and given those to the girls, there would have been more pride involved. Of course, there might have been some Freudian subtext to it. And the therapy sessions would be different.
Oh, happy Valentine’s Day.

Related Reading:

Celebrity Crushes:  The Girl Next Door

Celebrity Crushes: Is Elegance Elitist?

Sound Of Music Death Match!! Liesl v Maria

Which Is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz

Google-Stalking the Ex

Dating Advice From The Family

Family Advice: A Reversal (S0rt Of)

Dating Satisfaction Survey

Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site

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Enter your email address:

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World of Warcraft…Dating?

world_of_warcraft-fire dating wow datecraft
by Jonathan B Perry
Guys, do you spend hours and hours and hours playing World of Warcraft? Does this affect how much you see other humans? Especially female humans? A few of my friends play lots of it. They do little else. Of course, it is possible to meet people and develop relationships through playing WoW. Sort of. Weirdly, this actually happened to some of my friends who ended up meeting a player from across the country.wow-costume world of warcraft

Four or five of my friends are completely devoted to World of Warcraft. It consumes much of their free time, several hours a day, in fact, and I just can’t be around them when they‘re playing. You might say they’re addicted to WoW. When I was younger, maybe in middle school, I could spend hours playing games like Lazarian and Caverns of Kafka on an old Commodore 64 (I just really dated myself, didn’t I?), maybe a little Pac Man or Joust at the arcade, but I was never this obsessed. And again, I was in middle school.  These guys totally zone into World of Warcraft, sometimes forgoing employment as most waking hours are spent dressing their female characters in sexy outfits (virtual dolls), trading weapons (virtual baseball cards), and buying magic shovels and harps (virtual eBay, which itself is a virtual flea market). joust arcade game 80sWhen I visit them, they’re glued to their computer screens, completely engrossed while their characters run amok, wielding their axes across verdant countrysides full of well-dressed buxom female ogres and giant mushrooms.

One social component to this game is that your player’s character can talk to another player’s character in that second life sort of way. It just so happens that my four friends befriended another player who was attending college somewhere like Ohio or Michigan or Indiana. Incredibly, they talked him into coming to visit them in Nebraska and the guy actually flew out and stayed one extended weekend. It was one of the weirdest concepts I’ve ever encountered. Now, my friends were very attentive, showing him around town, entertaining him, feeding him, taking him to see the local schools. They even took the time to play WoW at once when all five of them were in the same house. What a tender, enriching 36 hours that must have been. This is close to how I envision successful online dating to be. Kind of. With fewer people. No other guys.  (There is actually a WoW related dating site called World of Datecraft.  No, really.  There’s even been a sighting of a couple who met through WoW & fell in love.  Hope games eternal.)

The secret word is ogre.

Related Reading:

Online Dating:  Should You Try It?

Google-Stalking the Ex

Bachelor Secrets 2-Dating Habits

Bachelor Secrets 1- Why Are They Single?

Couples vs Singles: Socialization

Dating Advice From The Family

Family Advice: A Reversal (Sort Of)

Dating Satisfaction Survey

Changing Your Relationship Status On A Social-Networking Site

Bachelors in History

Which is Your Type? A Pseudo-Cosmo Quiz

Celebrity Crushes: The Girl Next Door

Valentine’s Day Shame

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Valentine’s Day Poll

cupid2

For Valentine's Day, I'd rather:

  • Have dinner at a nice restaurant (23%, 6 Votes)
  • Gently gorge myself into a chocolate stupor (23%, 6 Votes)
  • Have a quiet dinner at home (19%, 5 Votes)
  • Whatever. Take me now, Lord. (15%, 4 Votes)
  • Take a Day Trip (12%, 3 Votes)
  • Pick ticks off my cat (8%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 26

Loading ... Loading ...

Check back several times daily for the results!

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New Domain

Welcome to the Domesticated Bachelor’s new address and domain!  Glad you’re here.  Have a look around.  Please note the new address:  www.thedomesticatedbachelor.com

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11 Steps to Becoming A Domesticated Bachelor: #2. The Right Wardrobe

james-bondby Jonathan B Perry
After a certain point your mother stopped dressing you and your brothers in matching purple tuxedos and frilly shirts. Finally!  Now it’s your own responsibility.  Just as your house is an extension of you and your excellent style (and your mortgage company‘s), so is your wardrobe.  Whether sporting proto-James Bond slick formal-gadget wear or lounging in your Hugh Hefner meets Austin Powers in the den smoking jackets, how you dress yourself lets the world know what kind of tasteful weirdo you are:  formal, casual, Boho-sloppy, goth-undertaker, or sporty (Ludwig’s royal coronation garb was boss).  austin_powers-jumpThe better you look and dress, the less you’ll hate yourself, and people will think more of you, too, because people are superficial and they suck. That old annoying saying, ‘dress for the job you want, not for the job you have‘, works in other areas as well:  socializing, dating (those are probably the only areas).  Of course, women seem to like it when a guy dresses up.  They smell success and responsibility. And clothes make the man, apparently.  Go ye therefore and acquire some dashing suits and dress shoes that can be used not just at your job as a daytrader or at church, but while socializing at the corner malt shop with your barber shop quartet.  You may even find some swell trademark clothing items to make your own, like the sharp wooden shoes, pocket watches, or red dickies.

The secret word of the day is dickies.

Related Posts:

Step # 1.  The Bachelor Pad

#2. The Right Wardrobe

#3. Shape Up, Fatty

#4. Learn to Cook

#5. Travel the World

#6. Be a Jack of All Trades

#7. Master Something

#s 8 & 9. Proper Socialization/Throw Parties

#10- Collect The Right Toys

Step# 11. Get A Good Job

(Thanks again alphainventions.com/ for the insane hits!)

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