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When Does Middle Age Begin?

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Euro Fest 2013 Itinerary


Bastille Day Fireworks-2013

Bastille Day Fireworks-2013

It’s been several months now, so I no longer wake up in strange European hotels craving freshly squeezed orange juice or Nutella-flavored Gelato or pain au chocolat. That stuff has worked its way out of my system. I also no longer have blisters on my feet and now have air conditioning aplenty.

Last summer I got to spend a month in Europe. In 5 weeks I was able to visit 6 countries (took the train through Switzerland and stopped at the station in Geneva, so I’ll count it). It was one of the awesomest months of my life. Read the rest of this entry »

Choose Your Own Adventure Year


Choose Your Own Adventure.  These were in my library. There should be more.

Choose Your Own Adventure books. These are in my library. There should be more.

When I was a bookworm of a kid I loved to read books from the Choose Your Own Adventure series.  The books were unique in that at the end of each chapter you were confronted with 2 choices.  The alternatives would be things like, “to attack the dragon turn to page 10” or “to challenge the dragon to a dance-off turn to page 15”.  You’d pick an option, then read the results of that selection before facing another pair of choices.  Depending on the writer, if you chose the dance-off, you and the dragon might end up as Solid Gold dancers, or you’d be a crispy noodle in Chinese dragon stir-fry.


When I’d reached the end of the book, or the end of the sequences I’d chosen, I would go back and read the book again, picking the other alternatives (fainting goats/epileptic sheep).  Sometimes I would peek ahead all along.  Often a different result was better.  Occasionally worse.  Sometimes the alternative was just different.

Read the rest of this entry »

Buying Useless Antique Furniture: Globe Wernicke Card Catalog Cabinet with Map Drawers


card catalog file drawers cabinet globe wernicke map drawers bookcase oak book shelves

Glamour Shot

Last year I started looking for library card catalog file drawers to buy. Yes, they’re incredibly useful for storing your twine and bags of rubber bands and spare whoopee cushions, but I wanted them for the aesthetics. To me they’re pretty awesome. Maybe it’s the uniformity of the wooden drawers and the little brass pulls. It might be the bookish nature of the card catalog. Either way, I desired one. “The Big Bang Theory” even has a cabinet of card file drawers on its set (but I still wanted one).

So I started checking online and at antique shops. I would see them sporadically, but they seemed either inferior or cost more than I was ready to spend. I even asked 2 of my librarian friends if their libraries had any card file drawers to get rid of now that the card file info was all online. Nope. Their card catalogs had already been poached. The library I worked in briefly during college had already given up its drawers to a former librarian, so I was out of luck there. It seemed I needed to adapt what I was willing to spend.

Fast forward to May– I dropped by an antique mall I’d been to before and there, at the back of the store, stood a 6 and a half foot tall wooden ‘filing cabinet’. But it was more than just a filing cabinet, it was a Globe Wernicke golden oak paneled ‘filing cabinet’ with several layers of drawers. Read the rest of this entry »

Bucket List Summer Challenge


bucket listHere it is May already and summer is knocking hard at the door like the determined home exteriors salesman I just had trouble shaking.  For many of us there’s summer vacation; time off of work and school.  In the meantime, there’s your stunningly crafted Bucket List that you want to complete.  Here’s the perfect opportunity to hammer at it.

Instead of catching up on multiple seasons of cancelled Joss Whedon TV shows while lounging in your neighbors’ pool, challenge yourself to to work on your Bucket List this summer.  Pick 3 or 4 or more items from your list and do them.  If you don’t already have a bucket list, make a list of your hopes and dreams, the things you’d like to do before you die (if you want ideas, here’s mine- My Bucket List: 100 Things To Do Before I Die).  Maybe you want to take a road trip across the US in a rusted Pinto or visit all the National Parks and take pictures while only leaving fingernail clippings.  Maybe synchronized swimming with the dolphins is your thing or walking the Great Wall of China in a dirndl as you grow your beard.   Read the rest of this entry »

Friday Song-White Nights by Oh Land

This is Danish singer-songwriter Oh Land (real name Nanna Øland Fabricius) with “White Nights“.  I think she sounds a bit like Bjork in a pixie-ish way.  Fantastic song.  Cool weird video.

I’m really loving her eponymous album which was probably my favorite album of 2011.  And that’s saying something because I have trouble getting full albums to stick anymore.  It may be that I’m getting old & less easily impressed or it could be that new music isn’t as good or that the iPod set-up is messing with my head.  Maybe there’s just too much music to sort through.

Her album features several really cool songs (check out “Sun of A Gun“, “Wolf and I” and  “Turn It Up” (which was featured in a tv commercial)).  Last year she toured with & opened for Katy Perry and Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD).  By the way, Oh Land turns 27 next week (I only know because I just checked info about her online.  It’s not like I’m stalking her or anything.).  Happy Birthday, Oh Land.  May you sell lots of music and perhaps put up a tent in my backyard.

Music Posts

Friday Song-Everlong by Foo Fighters

Friday Song- I’m Not Going To Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance with You

Friday Song – California, by Delta Spirit

The DB’s 30 Fav Songs of 2009

My 11 Favorite Christmas Albums


Depeche Mode and High School Girls

The Great Suburban Mushroom Hunt


morels mushrooms hunting“Hey Wookiee,” Randy hailed me from across the office, “I was thinking we might go mushroom hunting Friday after work. We’ll see if we can get Galen to come, too.”

“AWESOME! That would really boost my Mo-REL.”

Randy had just been mushroom hunting a few days before and bagged several tasty morels out at his old hunting grounds in the country. He’d been mushroom hunting since he was knee high to a grasshopper, as had a few other coworkers, but until about 3 years ago I didn’t know it was a thing.

Though I’d lived in Nebraska 20 years, I hadn’t really been tight with any old-school Nebraska natives or known the strange ways of the country folk until one day I overheard Randy and Dave whispering about the hunt in reverently excited tones (which would have sounded cooler with Irish/Amish accents). Read the rest of this entry »

Easter Antiquer


magnifying glass with alligator clipsSunday afternoon, I was driving home after spending a great Easter brunch with my brother Chris and his family, when I drove past an antique mall.  I hadn’t been there in several months and was surprised to see a number of cars in the parking lot.  I figured it would be closed on Easter, but it was as open as a head wound (or something else less gross that’s open).  2 and a half hours later, low on fluids, I walked out of the antique mall into the fresh air and sunshine with some pretty awesome items that I totally don’t need.Here’s what I found: Read the rest of this entry »

What Would You Do With $500 Million?


cash money lottery winnings dollars millionaireLet’s say you suddenly fell into a great deal of money.  $500 Million.  An insane amount of money.  That’s half a BILLION dollars.  We know you didn’t win the Mega Millions this time, but maybe you’ve won the sweepstakes or another insane Mega Millions Powerball or sold millions of books like JK Rowling.  Maybe your name is Pip and you inherited your money from an English fugitive you fed on the moors, though you thought the money came from Miss Havisham.  Whichever way you acquired the $500 million, it’s yours to spend.  How would you spend it?

Sure you’d pay off your bills, build a mansion, travel the world, maybe donate to charities.  Definitely retire. It’s hard to know for sure until you actually get there.  Yes, you’ll lose half of it to taxes, but still $250 million would hold you for a while.  You’d have to build up stamina against all your new best friends asking for handouts.  Certainly you’ll give some away, but you have to draw the line somewhere.  You’d have to walk through a dirty city in shame just knowing you’re one of the hated 1% protested by the same folks who bought tickets hoping to be members of the 1%.  If you’re smart (and trust the stock market & investments in general), you’d invest a large portion of it, so that it regrows like the freaky tail of a lizard.  What else would you do with it? Read the rest of this entry »

Join the GOAT ARMY! (On Facebook and Twitter!)


gatsby goatman bachelor jay gatsby goat domesticated bachelorJoin the GOAT ARMY!

The GOATMAN wants you!

(other catchy slogans)

The Domesticated Bachelor is now on TWITTER and FACEBOOK!  Join us for exclusive content (probably) and become eligible for upcoming giveaways (again, probably) from The Domesticated Bachelor!  (Love me.  Somebody love me.) Follow BachelorGoat on Twitter

Fear of Middle Age


brady bunch kids middle aged

The Brady Bunch Kids are getting older

Last year I took a poll to see when folks thought middle age begins: 30, 35, 40, 45, or 50.  There were over 130 votes and with about 38% of the vote, they voted overwhelmingly for age 40 as the start of middle age.  Shockingly, every other age group had less than half as many votes.  (See the results here)

This was a tiny blow to me since my 40th year is sneaking up sooner than I’d like and according to the non-scientific sample I took, I’d be joining that middle aged bracket on my 40th birthday (sometime in the near distant future).  In my article Middle Aged?  Already?  I tried to create a strong, though subtle, argument for why 45 might be a better starting point for the middles, but ya’ll were having none of it.  I even listed official definitions and medical opinions, junk like that, but no.  Human perception is king. Read the rest of this entry »

Friday Song – Everlong, by Foo Fighters

I was driving from work recently and thinking about the nature of  my new quasi-regular “Friday Song”.  How do I pick the song?  What does it represent?  Is it hip enough?  Is it too hip?  Can I play Benny Lava again?  Am I going to die alone thinking about crap like this?  Davy Jones of the Monkees had just died, and “Daydream Believer” was on my mind.  Also, I thought about dredging up that song he sang for his Brady Bunch cameo.  “Girl” or whatever.  That was a good song.  As I was thinking all this, “Everlong” by the Foo Fighters came on the radio and totally hit the spot, like it usually does.

The Foo Fighters don’t do much for me, except for this song.  This is the only song they’ve done that I ever need to hear again (unless they write an equally good song, which I don’t see happening).  You can almost dance to it & it does stuff to you.  About 10 years ago or so I saw the Foo in concert at a rock fest in Council Bluffs, IA with my buddy Ted.  There were probably a dozen bands performing (including Semisonic and Creed) & I only really cared about 4 of them.  The Foo were great in concert.  As for this video, it’s funny, dramatic, well-written, has a dude in drag, & the director, Frenchman Michel Gondry, is as brilliant as ever.  There are big hands & stuff.  Check it out.
Music Posts:

Friday Song- I’m Not Going To Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance with You

Friday Song – California, by Delta Spirit

The DB’s 30 Fav Songs of 2009

My 11 Favorite Christmas Albums


Depeche Mode and High School Girls

28 Fake Questions: Vetting The ‘Love’ Candidates


interview questionnaire surveyDo you have a ‘love checklist’?  Are you firm in what you’re looking for in a significant other?  Does it require your girl to be pretty, musical, smart, a fly tap dancer, speak Pig Latin, and cook well in nothing but an apron?  Have you ever looked at your list & realized you might be a touch delusional?  I’m still in denial about my totally non-existent checklist, but from time to time I’m forced to face reality.

In every election season, there’s a tough vetting process for the candidates.  Sometimes it’s accidental vetting, but occasionally the candidates are forthcoming with their quirks.  We want someone who fits us.  I know many of you guys are dragging your feet on dating or committing because, well, you’re just unsure whether that girl you like has what’s needed to complement your own quirks.  In other words, you’re not sure how much like your mom she really is.  This fixes that.  Just hand her this questionnaire and sit back while she fills in the magic.  You’ll know soon enough whether your girl is the perfect cross between Giada, Megan Fox, Natalie Wood, and your mom.  Also, don’t be surprised if she high-tails it out of there, slaps you, or turns the tables and hands you a questionnaire of her own.

In my generous effort to help my fellow helpless men who inexplicably find themselves in situations where they’re receiving ‘love’ applications and/or resumes for a certain position, I’ve made this excellent questionnaire.  Start vetting your ‘love candidates’.  You are welcome. Read the rest of this entry »

Mirror Gate In the Entryway


mirror gate in the entryway

I found this mirror gate a while back and knew I had to have it.  It’s not old, but was made as a cool mirror.  I’d seen some small antique gates before that I knew would be great as decorative architectural features on the wall, but the one I found was perfect because it came with hanging brackets and a mirror.  The mirror, of course, helps provide visual depth in my narrow entryway.

I accepted the fact that I’d be putting more anchor screws in the wall and that someday when I sell the place there will be a good deal of hole-filling between these anchor holes and the ones for the stained-glass window and the holes from hanging all the other pictures in the house.  Or someone could set up a Lite Brite.  Anyway, I put this puppy up in my entryway.  I like it.

Mirror Gate Closed in the Entrywaythe secret product is Lite Brite


Drilling Holes In My Wall For Mankind

Antique Stained-Glass Window For the Bachelor Pad

Buying Useless Antique Furniture: Globe Wernicke Card Catalog Cabinet with Map Drawers

Antiquing and the Cylinder Phonograph

How NOT To Decorate The Bachelor Pad

17 Types of Bachelor Pads


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Cook A Romantic Dinner As Trickery

lady and the tramp romantic dinner(While other guys were out on romantic Valentine’s Day dates with their girls, I was home pondering the nature of life and how much chocolate ice cream I should eat in one sitting. I’m sure I did something manly.  I also worked on this.)

You’ve cooked a very special dinner for your girl and are seated at a candlelit table on a neighbor’s roof (non-sloped). This is approximately how you want your romantic dinner conversation to go (assume breathiness):

You: My Dear, can I give you any more of anything?
Her: My Darling, I’m quite full, it’s all so delicious, but I think I have a little room left for some of your yummy manicotti.
You: Of course, kitten. Here you are. Be sure to save room for dessert. It’s cherry cheesecake.
Her: Mmm, I bet it is, tiger. And you better save some room yourself, my love. () Ooh, watch out for that pigeon.
You: Actually, monkey, that’s a turtledove I borrowed from the aviary. I thought the cooing was soothing. Just look at that cute little leash.
Her: Um, yes, Sniffles. It’s lovely, dearest, but the local pigeons are trying to…Oh, no! Stop that!!
You: () Insatiable.

Disgusting stuff like that. My grandma is blushing. Read the rest of this entry »

Friday Song – CALIFORNIA, by Delta Spirit

It’s always cool to find a song that not only sounds great, but resonates with you.  For me, “California” by Delta Spirit is one of those.  As someone originally from California who’s drawn back there by loaded memories, I almost feel this is for me.  Here Delta Spirit sounds a bit like My Morning Jacket or Kings of Leon, even Fleet Foxes, with smooth vocal harmonies, driving guitar, and emotional lyrics.  It’s a super tune.  I need to check out the rest of their music.  Get a happy wallowing fix going.  Happy Friday.

Music Posts:

Friday Song- I’m Not Going To Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance with You

The DB’s 30 Fav Songs of 2009

My 11 Favorite Christmas Albums


Depeche Mode and High School Girls